Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

I can't believe it has been a month since my last blog. Time flies when you are having fun. I have had a great holiday season. Mandy is back home for now and Danny is in town for work. Having the whole family together is the best gift for me. From Thanksgiving on we have had some great family times. Certainly as with all families we have are challenges, disagreements and tough situations. But I wouldn't trade any of it for a million dollars.

Steve, Alex and I stumbled on a movie last night called "Courageous". Absolutely amazing movie. A movie about faith, fatherhood and living your faith, answering your call. What is your vocation? I mean your true vocation. What has God called you to be? A father, mother, religious person, single person.... Whatever your vocation, do it with love, honor, dignity and faith in God. What a great message for us all.

At Christmas, a time when we remember the coming of Christ as a humble baby. Born in a stable, laid in a manger. He came to unite man and God. To make us a part of God. He was truly man and truly God. He was born to a simple virgin woman. Cared for by a simple hard working man. Both of his earthly parents were humble faithful people. They lived their calling with faith, dignity and honor.

He came to show us how much God loves us. To teach us to love simply, care deeply and do the right thing. To show us that God exists and wants us to come home. As much as I love my children and enjoy having them home. God wants that for us.

I know all that God wants of me. I strive for it but fall short. I get back up and keep trying. When I take one measly hour of my life on Sunday for Him. I stand, kneel and sit before Him. I humbly ask for forgiveness. I am reminded of His message. I adore Him and start again.

He came for all people. Jews, pagans, and gentiles. We celebrate Christmas during the solstice for the similar reasons. Christians are made up of Jews, pagans and all. We have incorporated all of who we are. At the darkest of days remembering the Light of the World coming to us. I know Jesus' birth was probably not on Dec 25th. But celebrate it with all Christians on this day as a matter of tradition and unity.

As we begin a new year, 2012. I will strive for living my faith. I will love more deeply, laugh more, hug more, pray more. (maybe try to eat less and exercise more)

Happy New Year!!
May 2012 bring you and your family more joy than sorrow. More love than hurts.

Haven't had much time to write lately. Been busy with work and life. Think about it all the time and try to get here. I haven't worked out much lately either. Need to get both of these back on track.

I hope everyone reading this had a nice Thanksgiving. I did. I had a very nice Thanksgiving day with my in-laws. Also had a nice gathering in Sat eve with some of my family and friends. I have much to be thankful for.

We are now in the Christmas season. I am working on keeping the true Christmas spirit. Christmas is my favorite season. I so loved this time of the year as a child. So much hope and prettiness all around. We live an world that can be very harsh and ugly. So this season reminds us all that there is something better. 

As an adult with adult responsibilities it gets harder to hold onto that joy of the season. But I am not going to let our crazy world and its materialism get in the way. I have in the past. Don't get me wrong, gifting is my love language. So I love getting and receiving gifts. But the cost and quantity aren't what matter. If someone randomly gives me a candy bar I am thrilled. I know it is cliche to say but its true "it's the thought that counts".

I don't understand people that get crazy on black friday. I really don't need a tv that bad. I know it is fun for most and that's cool, but I'm talking about the ones that take it to far. Also it makes me mad that our economy is based on my spending and debt. I shouldn't have to be in debt or overspend for our economy. We have dug ourselves into a hole with that one. 

It should be that we produce something to sell. All the workers are employed making something to sell. Those items are sold to generate income. The workers spend money on living and some service(like restaurants and stores). Now our economy is based on gamblers on wall street and middle income debt and spending. Ridiculous!!!

Big business has there hands in congressional pockets. Both sides and all members. None of them will take a stand against. We have also dug ourselves into a hole on this one. Big business likes unemployment, it keeps wages down. Congress will not extend middle income tax cuts but will extend high income tax cuts!!! really.

Ok so I went rogue for a minute. Back on track. 

Christmas season runs from the 1st Sunday of Advent to the Baptism of the Lord. I am going to hold on the spirit and hope of Christmas. The true meaning of the promise our Lord made that he will return and we hopefully will live in glorious splendor with him. I will enjoy all the blessings of this world. I will love those around me. Spread a world of Joy and Hope. 

Feliz Navidad!!!!!

"Mean people suck" I find this bumper sticker a bit hypocritical. I do get the point they are trying to make. 

Has our society become meaner, colder? Are we quicker to turn on each other? 

A couple of years ago, while at work, I was watching the protests regarding immigration reform in SW Detroit. My mom and sister were at the protest, along with many other folks I know. As I watched the news coverage, the lady sitting next to me said "Look at all those people, they make me so mad. I wish I had a machine gun". I was shocked. I told her that my family was in that protest. Really a machine gun! She apologized. But I still remember that story and the feeling of hatred she had for the protesters. 

In the summer of 2010, we were visiting Mt Rushmore. My family and I were listening to the ranger talk about past presidents. She was asking the audience where certain presidents were from. She started with older ones to more current. When she got to President Obama, the ranger asked "Where is he from?" Some of those in the crowd began saying "we don't know yet", "maybe Kenya" and "who knows". I was again shocked. Really! What was the point. The kids there were having fun guessing where the presidents  were born. It was very disappointing.

I know you probably have seen these same types of things happening. Why?

At a memorial for a young man who took his own life, someone yells out "he is better off dead"! How sad for the family. To feel that kind of hatred. I truly am at a loss when I hear these things. I don't understand why. How someone could say such hateful things.

Our society has gotten very cold. For an audience to applaud the death penalty, shows a deep sense of callousness. To yell out "let him die" when discussing a cancer patient or boo a soldier sharing something very heart wrenching and personal, I don't understand.  

All of these are tied together. They feed off each other. We start losing any sense of caring for others. We start saying things we shouldn't. 

Regardless of your position or view point. Bullying, name calling and rudeness are unnecessary. I too have gotten caught up in passionate discussions and said some things I shouldn't have. Never our of sheer hatred. I truly am perplexed at the anger some people have and where they direct it. Scary! 

We have become very selfish. Give me what is mine! We forget to love and respect our fellow man.

ok so I have arthritis,  nothing new. I was told this in Sept 2009. But I was hoping today wouldn't show much progression and the doc would say it is the meniscus tear causing the pain. No such luck. Not only is it the arthritis but my knee is bowing in. That is not the technical term but that is what I say. So a brace for me when I work out, go for walks and  at work.  If the brace works to re align the knee, that makes me a good candidate for some other treatments. One is the injections of lubricant for the knee, the other two are surgeries. One surgery to clean out the knee othroscopically. The other is a very invasive intense surgery called knee realignment. Not really interested in that one. Not yet anyway.

Why am I telling you all this? Do I just love to talk about my medical conditions? not really, if that was the case there would of been numerous other blogs. 

I am telling you this because I am trying to be healthier. This will not deter me. The doc didn't put me on any restrictions. So I came home and worked out. Bad knee, bad foot(luckily those two are on different legs) and all. I know that the best thing for me and my knee is health. I need to keep moving and get more weight off. This will make things better in the long run. No medical doctor can do this for me. 

So as I was working out, I kept thinking about all the things I am fighting against. It motivates me. I am fighting arthritis, diabetes(which is devastating the latin community), osteoporosis, muscle loss, high blood pressure and just being able to stay mobile into the older years. 

There are ways to work out and not injure the bad knee. I have done physical therapy and I know this. I will do more physical therapy. Especially since I will be working out with the brace on. That should be fun, not!! 

I wish I could say I do strength training to get stronger. I hope I get stronger and maybe I will. But mostly I do strength training to fight muscle loss and the slowing of metabolism. It is very important for women to lift weights. I do low to mid weights with lots of repetitions. That gives me some strength training and cardio.  

Anyone reading this, no matter your age or shape. Start working out. Do it today. Go for a walk, go up and down the stairs a few times. If you don't have any ailments, then good for you. Strengthen your body to fight them. If you are younger, good you can start now and maybe make it easier on your body. I wish I would have gotten the weight off sooner. But I have no regrets really. It is what it is. 

If you have any ailments, I am sorry. I know how tough that can be. But don't give up. Eat Healthy and see what physical activities you can do and do them well and often!!!!

Good Health to all. 

extradition, trial, justice

Big words, heavy words....

Juan Cruz is being extradited to stand trial for the murder of Rose Marie Woolwine. A murder which took place in 1989 and was covered in a Dateline story.

Rose Marie Woolwine, Rosie, was my sister. The twin sister of Ruby Ann Woolwine. The daughter Rebecca Lugo. The sister of Jimmy, Chucky(RIP), Donald, Felice, Maria, Juan and Angel. The mother of Sarah, Theresa and Joey. They were so little when she was taken from us.

Every time we get a step closer to justice, I feel the need to take a step back to remember who Rosie was. When Rosie passed away, I moved to Ann Arbor. Shortly after I began attending community college. One of the first classes I took was a speech class and one assignment was a eulogy. I wrote a eulogy for Rosie. It was beautiful, profound and sad. I cried when reciting it in class. The whole class cried with me. That eulogy was shortly after that lost, I have no idea where it went. I have other papers and speeches from then. I wish it would turn up. I pray that it would.

But who was Rosie. Is there any way to let those of you who never knew her to understand who she was? I doubt it.

Rosie was passionate, stubborn and a little conceited. She loved life and her family. As a child we called her nosie rosie. She would be the first one to the kitchen when mom went grocery shopping to see what goodies were there. Her and Ruby were so close, they would fight something fierce with eachother, but if you tried to intervene.... Let's just say it would be bad for you. The twins as they were called, would be fiercely loyal to eachother, I guess all twins are. They were so tough in high school, that when I went a few years later, I never had to fight. I just stood tough and held to their reputation. I think others also knew that if they touched me there would be hell to pay later. Remember we grew up in Detroit, tough streets. But Rosie and Ruby could hold their own.

They got into lots of trouble, had lots of friends and enjoyed life together. They were both so pretty, I always felt so plain. Ruby is and has always been so my gorgeous older sister. But Rosie was different, she carried herself with such confidence that when she walked in the room, you knew she was there. Her smile was something else. Her passion for life was immeasurable. When I picture her now, I see a beautiful smile and eyes that light up the room.

Not only does my heartbreak for losing Rosie. My heart breaks for Ruby. I want the twins back. I know that will never happen. I know if Ruby is reading this she is crying with me.

I feel Rosie's presence sometimes. I know she is at peace and that these steps for justice are a good thing.

May God Bless you and your family. Please pray for ours.

Why the democrats may lose the next election! As always, I will start with telling you who I am. I am a middle class(low end) middle aged white woman, with some hispanic heritage. I also have to say I am fairly uneducated, slightly well read and more than a little crazy. If you can't already tell by my ramblings. So read on if you like. I tend to lean democrat, which I eluded to in earlier blogs. I say a moderate or conservative democrat. I do have many issues with the democrat party, but less than the issues I have with the republican party. The republicans will play to the fact that we forget. They count on it. They will hammer their message home, over and over, using their pat phrases. They will spin messages to fit their agenda. They use phrases like "Christian" and "family" values. As a strong christian catholic, there is much about the rep. party that concerns me. But they are effective in getting their message out. On the other hand, we have the democrats. Their message either gets lost or doesn't even get out there. I believe in the democratic voting system. As much as it may bother me, if the republicans are better at playing the game, then they win. If the democrats don't wake up. If they don't present a unified front with a strong message. If they don't remind us that the economy was in trouble long before Obama took office. Also, that the first stimulus package was enacted by George Bush and went to wall street. That package had no accountability and we saw none of that money again. Democrats need to remind voters that the republicans vowed to cause the failure of the Obama administration. They didn't care about the common good or the economy. The republicans are holding true to this vow. They are winning. Maybe there are more republicans or those leaning republicans. I tend to not think so, but I could be wrong. I personally think the gerrymandering of the districts help the republican party. Again they know how to play the game. Until the rules are changed, the democrats need to wake up and figure it out. If they can't then maybe they should lose elections. On a side note, when I write my blogs, it is straight from the heart. The idea just sort of comes to me. I cant force myself to sit down and write. Usually if I do that, I get nothing. When a thought or a rant comes to me, I just write it down. Sometimes on scrap sheets of paper. The reason I started writing is because it is cathartic for me to get these thoughts written out. Honestly I would rather not write about politics. But right now that is where my mind goes. I hope you enjoy reading my rants. Agree or disagree, I hope it makes you think.

The great doc Oz

E coli! On my toothbrush! Are you kidding me? I was watching Dr. Oz on Good Morning America. I find him to be a bit of the alarmist. I think he wants to shock us into behaving. Dr. Oz and Robin Roberts were discussing how often to replace your toothbrush. The wise doc says replace every 3 months. His reasoning, e coli or fecal particles get on your toothbrush over time. Mostly because of the toilet flushing, which sprays particles into the air. A few things bother me about this line of reasoning. One, how many particles build up? How much is too much? For me, one particle of fecal matter is too much. It seems to make more sense to put a cap on your toothbrush, keep your toothbrush in the medicine cabinet and close the toilet lid when flushing. Maybe do all of the above. Why not stop the particles from getting there in the first place. Two, does everything else in the bathroom end up with e coli contamination.  What about the door knob? The towels? Hand towels? I know you wash these things probably more than your toothbrush and they aren't being used in your mouth! But still. Can you imagine what the OCD and germaphobes are doing now?! Then I'm listening to the radio and the announcer says "you have to watch dr Oz today." She continues, "what your kids are drinking may be detrimental to their health. Don't miss today's Dr Oz!" Really isn't that the old joke about newscasters. "something in your house may be killing your family! Tune in at 11 to find out" 

Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight. The vengeful will suffer the LORD's vengeance, for he remembers their sins in detail. Forgive your neighbor's injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven. Could anyone nourish anger against another and expect healing from the LORD? Could anyone refuse mercy to another like himself, can he seek pardon for his own sins? If one who is but flesh cherishes wrath, who will forgive his sins? Remember your last days, set enmity aside; remember death and decay, and cease from sin! Think of the commandments, hate not your neighbor; remember the Most High's covenant, and overlook faults.                                                              Sirach 27:30-28:7 Such a powerful first reading today. How hard for me to hear. Forgiveness is something we are called to. It is probably the most challenging.  As I sat there with other families, older people and younger people, I wondered about this word forgiveness. We sit there, the sinners, the fallen, the hypocrites and the lost. We sit there because we long to see His face. We know what we ought to do but also know how short we come. We listen, we learn, we pray, we hope. September 11th, we all remember. How do you forgive for such a tragic loss, for such a hateful thing?   Don't confuse forgiveness and justice. Justice is appropriate. Just like when we do something wrong, we are held accountable. We have to make it right. Because someone is forgiven doesn't mean we don't hold them accountable. We do and we should. Forgiveness is letting go of the anger and wrath. For wanting something better for that person or persons than they have given us. That is where the challenge comes, that is where true love comes from. Wanting that person to acknowledge their sin and make it right, for their salvation and the salvation of the whole world. How difficult!  Impossible even, except for with the Grace of God.  How do you forgive, or even consider forgiveness, for someone who murdered your sister? Left her like a animal, alone and hurt! How do you forgive someone who hurt a small child? An innocent little child full of wonder and trust. We humans have found many ways to hurt, traumatize and victimize one another. Such atrocities, How do find forgiveness? The word is so hard to say and hear, yet alone consider. The anger and wrath are right there. But this is what we are called to do, this is what love commands.  Christ beaten, spit upon, stripped of dignity, and nailed to a cross. He was truly human and felt every whip, felt every nail. He was in excruciating pain. He was innocent. He did nothing wrong. He dying words "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do". As he was dying, he prayed for those who hurt him. He forgave them and wanted more for them, for us than we gave Him.   There are incredible stories of forgiveness. St. Maria Goretti, on her deathbed forgave the man who tried to rape her and stabbed her. It took years for the man to repent. The repentant man finally begged her mother for forgiveness. At Maria's canonization in 1950, the man stood with her mother. Pope John Paul II after being shot, visited and forgave the man who tried to take his life. There are stories out of Rowanda of tremendous forgiveness. Strong, faith filled people trying to live their call and make the world better.  I can't even fathom the power and grace it took to forgive.  I pray for those graces. It is easier for me to forgive someone who hurt me than someone who hurt someone I love. Maybe that is true for most of us. I'm not sure.  God sometimes makes things so obvious. He makes it hard to ignore Him. I know he wants forgiveness in my heart. He wants me to let go of the anger, the hatred, the wrath. I know that He will help me and He will stand by me. I know all of this but still struggle. I know what I ought to do but don't know if I am strong enough. He knows I am strong enough. 

by Amy Bishop on Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 5:17am
Caitlyn's Story

I wanted to put together all my "notes" and start from the beginning of Caitlyn's journery and share with everyone the amazing road we have travelled down and mostly the miracles that we have seen and how one little baby changed our lives forever. Please feel free to pass this along to anyone who has prayed or asked about us, or to anyone who just wants to hear a wonderful story of faith, hope, and miracles!!

Part One-Birth to ECMO surgery

May 25, 2011 - 8:06 a.m. Caitlyn Rae Bishop was born with a tiny cry. Her body was very blue/purple. But she was crying so i assumed she was fine. She layed on my chest for a few seconds then was taken away to the nursery. (at this time i still had no idea anything was wrong). It took another 20 mins or so to finish up in the operating room. When I was ready to go to recovery we came out of the OR doors and there i saw 10 people starring down at my daughter with a puzzled look on their face. Then my eyes met nathan's eyes and i knew something was wrong. After asking Nathan several times he explained to me that she was having a hard time breathing when she isn't stimulated. I sat in recovery which is across the hall from the nursery and i could see Caitlyns bed. I couldn't see her, just the bed. I saw a nurse close the curtain really fast and yelled for more help. My heart simple dropped to my feet. I think i was in shock. They came in and said she needed to be transfered to St. Louis Children's Hospital because her lungs aren't working. We called our parents and let them know what was going on. Once ARCH arrived with the Children's transport team it took 2 hours to get Caitlyn stable. She fought them for most of that time trying to get a breathing tube down her throat. That is when we were aware she is a fighter. I finally got moved to my "room" and waiting nervous as ever to see my daughter. The transport team brought her by on their way out but i couldn't see her because she was up so high and i had just had the c-section so i couldn't move to see. They quickly took her out of my room because my own alarms were going off. Nathan took off then to go meet Caitlyn at Children's. The Children's doctor that was on board said it would be a 7 min flight and they would call my cell phone when they arrive and get her inside. Then they left. About 10 mins later i just happened to look out my window and i didn't hear anything but i saw the helicopter taking my daughter. That memory is forever burned in my brain. When i see a helicopter I always think of that moment. I had called my family and ask that nobody come down. I felt i could handle it better when i didn't have people there. no idea why but i just felt that way. It was a very long night alone waiting to hear from Nathan or the Doctors. Everytime they called it was something new going on and i was so scared and felt so alone. I had Nathan send me a picture of her and the picture i got wasn't my little princess, it was a very sick baby with many wires and tubes and no skin showing due to the cool down process that they were doing because her brain was swollen. The next couple of days I worked on getting out of bed and walking to prepare myself for the trip to St. Louis. I had been kept up to date about Caitlyns condition by Nathan and the doctors. Finally Friday came and I was able to leave the hospital earlier than normal. My husband picked me up and took me to children's. That car ride there was painful for many reasons. Physically because of the surgery i just had 2 days ago and then emotionally because i knew i was about to get a good look at my daughter for the first time and I was very scared. Would I cry? Would I scream? Well when we got there we met with Dr. Inder (our favorite doctor) and i was in a wheelchair so she got down on her knees and explained to me what was going on and explained that Caitlyn was a mystery. When one of the top neurology doctor, in the top ranked 6th hospital tells you that, you fall apart. I was so scared and of course blamed myself. It could of only been my fault because i carried her for 9 months and i was what she was living on. I had to put on a protective scrub type clothes because they didn't know if caitlyn was carrying some type of diease. I walked in to see my sweet baby girl. small tears rolled down even though i tried holding them back as much as i could. Her beautiful black hair was covered completely by the EEG. She had a breathing tube and wires everywhere. She had Iv's in her legs, arms, head. Basically every body part. The next few weeks were up and down. We had some good days then quickly they turned bad. We were called to the hospital a couple of times and they said "you need to get down here now because she is getting worse very fast" They kept talking about this ECMO treatment because all the breathing machines just weren't enough for her. She was on a machine that gently vibrates her so she didn't get fluid built up in her lungs. But like many time Caitlyn bounced back and ECMO was off the table, no more talk of that. A few weeks later They had discovered something with Caitlyn's lungs wasn't right and they had started talking lung transplant. When i heard those words my heart literally fell to the floor. I felt like i had been shot right in the back. June 15, 2011 They asked to do a lung biopsy which we had thought wasn't anything major. Well with all her issues they had to make a large (for caitlyn's size) incision under her left armpit and they took a piece of her lung out and put in a chest tube to drain any air that might of gotten in while they were doing the surgery. We were told it is a risky surgery etc. and that she might not survive but she did. She did great. I was so proud of her all i wanted to do was hug her, but she was on minimal stimulation which means we can't rub her or talk loud and no holding. That night we went home and had matthew with us and tried to have a normal few hours. Then June 16, 2011 at 3:00 a.m. we got a phone call from the doctors at children's telling us that Caitlyn's heart rate was dropping and i honestly couldn't tell you what else they said. I was so tired from not having slept in a few days and i just couldn't remember what they said besides that they are going to call us back if something didn't work. 30 mins later we got a horrible phone call saying get down there now they are doing chest compressions on her and bagging her (which means cpr). I don't think i have ever moved so fast. We had to get matthew up and drop him off at my parents house then we flew down to stl and arrived 45 mins later. Dr Inder was already there. By then Caitlyn had bounced right back again. What happened was air somehow got in the chest tube or the chest tube failed and she developed a big air pocket which pushed her heart over and collapsed her right lung. She had gone into heart failure. We hung around that morning and it turned into night when Dr. Inder had came in with the results of the biopsy. She said it looked like adult lungs that have been exposed to agent orange in vietnam and blown up and put back together. Yikes! all that in a baby's lung. She said the cause was because of being on 100% oxygen since the day of birth. But that was needed at the time to keep her alive. Dr. Inder got down on her knees and explained to me that it was reversable but there was only one way to do that, and that was to place Cailtyn on ECMO for 2 weeks. We had the surgeon that had done cailtyn's biopsy come in and talk to us about ECMO. She told us that there is a huge risk of doing this surgery on caitlyn because of bleeding. Being on ECMO you are on a blood thinner and the biopsy she had just had was a risk, a big risk of bleeding. The surgeon also said that she had never had a patient come off ECMO successfully. She said that if it were her daughter she would not do it because caitlyn likely wouldn't survive the surgery and once she develops a brain bleed or a bleed anywhere else they are done and there is nothing to do to fix that. But without this surgery Caitlyn was going to die. We had a very hard decision as parents. We were confused and it showed. We had several nurses, social workers, etc. in the room with us but the most important person we had was Dr. Inder. She looked me in my eyes and said "Amy you know me, and you know i know your daughter better than anyone else here. She has us running out of options. Caitlyn is at the edge of a cliff ready to jump and we are trying everything to pull her back in. I know that she can survive this ECMO and I know it is her ONLY CHANCE to survive." After she said that I looked at the surgeron and said go ahead and do the surgery. I was so scared if i had made the right choice and if the choice i had made would kill her. I had seriously lost my mind for a few mins. all i could do was cry and say over and over this wasn't supposet to happen to her. she wasn't suppose to be sick. There were 2 great nurses inside the room at that time Lynn and Karen. They said to each other lets let mom hold her. I hadn't held caitlyn yet except in the OR room but only for a few seconds. With the breathing machine she was one it was not a good idea to hold her but they all thought she wouldn't come out of the surgery so they wanted to give me the chance to hold her alive. When they placed her in my arms i held her bed basically and it was heavy with all the tubes etc. Dr. Inder, Lynn, and Karen had all moved her to my arms and made sure her vitials were good and they walked out and shut our door which is all glass and they just stood there watching her monitor as i sat there holding her and telling her how proud her daddy and i were and how we would be waiting right here for her when she gets out of surgery. I remember telling her to be strong and to keep fighting because i would be right by her side fighting with her. I kissed her for what i was afraid that last time and told her how much she meant to me and how long i had wanted her.

They told us to call our parents and get them down there. As we were walking out of her room (because it was a bedside operation) the actual surgery that was going to preform the surgery said "i don't think this will work, but i'll do what i can" oh geez thats nice. So we went to wait in a sleep room then went downstairs to meet our families and by that time the nurses had called us that they were done with the surgery. Nobody said if she made it or not, so we went running to the NICU and running back to her room. There were tons of surgery crew around but nobody was smiling and nobody was saying anything. Finally we found Sandra one of our favorite docs that we had, had since day 1. and she gave us 2 thumbs up. Ahhhh my heart started to beat again. Soon after we were able to go in and see her. Her room had been taken up by the huge ECMO machine and her body layed there lifeless. no movement of breathing or of her heart beating. Thats all ECMO's job. It is a heart and lung bypass machine to give her body the ultimate rest. She had 2 huge tubes coming out of her little neck. the tubes were long and were filled with her blood. It was very scary to see. But we knew that had to be done to save her life.

I grew up on welfare. I grew up using food stamps and eating focus hope food. I still don't like King Vitamin cereal.  

It really bothers me when people say disparaging things about the welfare system. My mother, a single mom, never gave up trying. She was also trying to go back to work or back to school. Is she or her kids lazy? Absolutely not. We all work hard and try to improve our lives. 

I remember being treated like scum. In Detroit there were unfortunately a lot of folks on welfare, so I had a lot of friends also struggling. But there was still something embarrassing about using food stamps. We all knew that being on welfare made us somewhat unworthy. 

I am grateful for the New Deal. I don't think it damaged our country. It saved families like mine. There were times when I was hungry as a child. Thankfully not very often and not for very long. I would rather live in a country where people have access to assistance, then having kids go hungry. And we do have kids in this country going hungry. Everyone that gets help is one small victory. 

Are there people who take advantage of the system? Yes! Should there be rules and regulations to control that? Yes!  But I would rather one lowlife get through if it means more families could be helped. 

If those families that are struggling live in a environment with substandard schools and an overworked police system, the hope for improving their lives is more challenging. I want our government involved, I want serious action. I am willing to distribute the wealth, to give government more control. For me a balanced approach is necessary. More money from the government to help families get on their feet, more job training, and education opportunities. But I also like the idea of Emergency Financial Managers coming in and getting schools and cities back on track. If handled appropriately a balanced approach can make the difference. 

Take the billions of dollars in government subsidies that big oil companies get, while they make billions in profits, and put half of that in a system to offer education and job training to displaced workers and those receiving welfare. Big business likes unemployment, it keeps wages down if you have more looking for jobs. They are not interested in helping and having low unemployment. 

I see and hear things like "those people" drain our system. "They" need to get a job. How dare "they" have a cell phone, television, or nice clothes. If you live on welfare you should look and act like the substandard person you are. You should walk around in a potato sack with your head held down. You are not allowed one shred of dignity or anything nice. If this is how someone is supposed to feel, How are they ever supposed to feel worthy of a better life? 

We need to treat people with dignity, love and respect. Instead of assuming and judging, try to understand where that person is coming from, and how you or I could help improve their life. Yes we are our brothers keeper's. The success of Detroit is vital to the success of Ann Arbor and all of Michigan. The success of our fellow americans is vital to all of our success.

What if.....

It was the 1940's, you were a very young mexican woman with no rights whatsoever. You were living very modestly in Detroit with your husband. Surrounded by his family. But your family spoiled you growing up. You don't know how to keep a house or manage children. To make matters worse your husband's family hates you. They treat you horribly. Things are getting worse and worse. You are depressed. You try to leave, he finds you and brings you back. 

In the midst of this depression and horrible situation, you try to take your own life. You love your kids but don't know what to do. Finally you decide to leave, to save yourself. You will get yourself together then come back for the kids. He won't let you see them once you leave. Luckily your sister is caring for them while he is at work. You get to see them secretly.

He finds out and doesn't let your sister watch them anymore. Things are getting very bad. You decide to leave the state. Again once you get things together, you can come back for the kids. Right now if you take them you will all starve. You have nothing, no rights, no money, no where to live. 

You struggle to get back on your feet. To grow up and figure out what to do. The years go by. You know that they are growing up without you. The distance grows wider and deeper. This chasm is too great.

How do you feel? Do you forget about your children? Do you wonder about them? Do you know how bad it was for them? Did you completely move on? In the creation of your new family and life, do you ever think about your other family? 16 grandchildren, do you wonder about them? Or is it all to overwhelming. Was it easier to move on without thinking about it?

This is my interpretation. My thoughts based on stories I have heard. I try not to judge. I am not in the situation. I try to empathize. 

What if......

When the news reported that the counseling office of Michelle Bachmann's husband does gay-to-straight therapy, was I shocked? no. Was I appalled? not really  

Are you shocked? I told you, my most controversial blog yet. I try to be honest in my blog. I will try to be honest with this one. Do I have all the answers? no.  Am I still growing and learning? yes, I hope so.

 Two things I ask when you read this. One read the whole thing, if you completely disagree that is ok, just read it through. Two don't assume, don't read between the lines. My opinions are just that my opinions, what I think on a particular subject unsaid shouldn't be inferred.

Let me say at this point that anything in the realm of discrimination or hate crimes is wrong. No matter what the reason. I love and respect all. Whether you are gay, straight, atheist, christian etc........ I will stand by you, pray with you, work with you, eat with you, talk with you etc......I don't think anyone gay is looking to undermine society as some conservatives say. We all just want to be happy, understood and loved.

Om that note, let me jump right in.  I believe in the kinsey scale. It rates our sexual desires from 100% heterosexual to 100% homosexual. We all fall somewhere on the scale, with most being heterosexual. As such there are some who fall in the middle, bisexual. If you believe this, then it makes sense to say that some choose to be gay.  I know most don't want to discuss the choice of being gay. We are being led to believe that being gay is not a choice. Someone is either gay or straight. I don't think it is that cut and dry. I don't think absolutes fit. Yes some are gay and some are straight. Some are in the middle.

If someone chooses counseling to deal with same sex attraction through prayer and other resources, they should have the right. If you fall in the middle of the kinsey scale you can work towards the life you choose, whether gay or straight. I believe all things are possible with God. Do I think anyone gay should be shamed into this therapy? absolutely not. People need to make their own choices for their lives. If someone is gay and chooses a life devoted to God, again they should be allowed that choice. 

The whole nature vs nurture debate rages on here. Again absolutes wouldn't work. Our sexual desires, the way we express love and want to be loved, is part of who we are. Were we born a certain way or did we grow and learn to be this way? Or was it a combination of the two. We can, I believe, retrain our selves. The part of us that is learned can be altered, if desired.

Do we have the right to choose who we want to spend our time with or who we want be our partner? Within reason, yes. I would never tell two consenting adults who they can or can't spend time with. 

On the other hand I believe God created us male and female. That Marriage is a sacred vow between a man and a woman. That our physical structures were created by God to fit together in an intimate and spiritual union. That is why this union brings about life. I believe in the sanctity of marriage, in the proliferation of life. I believe marriage is created in the image of the Trinity. 

I also believe that obedience to something bigger than yourself is not something to be ashamed of. People that choose celibacy, people that choose to wait until marriage to be intimate, people that say yes to all created life in their marriage are all examples of obedience to God and His word. To give up oneself to serve the greater good. 
 
The media makes a mockery of obedience. We are led to believe that a life fulfilling our selfish desires is where happiness lies. We want immediate gratification. If it makes us feel good then it must be ok. A drug addict will say, when I use, it makes me feel good.

 As a parent I teach my kids, self sacrifice, discipline, love, and respect. I would never say, if it feels good then do it. I would say is it the right thing to do, is it the right choice.
I try to teach my kids to step out of yourself for the greater good. To know God and His love for all, no matter who you are. 

How this all balances out in the debate of same sex unions? I don't really know yet. Like I said I try to be honest. I don't have all the answers. 
If I were a in a beauty contest and my final question were about marriage, my answer would be "I believe marriage is a sacred vow between a man and a woman...." I guess that Perez guy would call me names and stuff. But to have honest open dialogue requires us to be honest and open.

I will continue to love and serve God. I know He will guide me to the right path. He will show me how to love my fellow man. How to serve the world for the greatest good.

Blessed be God forever.

Let me start by saying in some circles I am a liberal, in other circles I am a conservative. There are some in my family who think I am republican and there are some republicans I know that would scoff at that. I don't mind being somewhat in the middle, keeping people guessing. It really isn't a one or the other choice. You can be conservative on some issues and liberal on others. I will admit, in the interest of disclosure, that I lean more towards liberal. I will also say that I seriously considered McCain as a presidential candidate, once he chose Palin, I decided to vote a different way. I felt her experience and knowledge weren't adequate. I also considered voting for Snyder until he stated the need the repeal healthcare reform. I decided to vote another way. Again based on the issues not on party lines.

A few days ago I was scanning thru radio stations and it stopped on a religious conservative talk show. The host was relaying some horrible things that were said on the Bill Maher show. The panelist on the BM show said some incredibly inappropriate stuff about Michelle Bachmann and Santori(sp?). I totally understand the shock and his right to call them out. But then the radio host went on to say "this is what liberals are saying", "this is what the liberals are promoting". 

While I stated what was said on the Bill Maher show was horrendous, I think what the radio host said was also wrong. This is not what liberals are saying. This is what some panelists/comedians said trying to be funny and shocking. But please don't stir the pot more by saying all liberals think or talk like that. Whenever anyone speaks in absolutes it raises a red flag, you can't lump people together. That is stereotyping. Not only is it stereotyping it also creates a divisive and antagonistic environment. 

When I hear or see conservatives saying or doing something completely inappropriate like linking Obama to Hitler, or using the phrase lib-tard, I don't assume all conservatives think this way. I realize that some are just trying to shock and get attention.

We are not enemies. We are fellow Americans trying to make things better in this country. The liberals aren't trying to ruin this country. The conservatives are trying to ruin this country. This is where respect and compromise should come into play. If we can have conversations with respect and reach compromises then we will all be better off.

That doesn't seem to be the case for some. I have a hard time with anyone who states their sole goal is someone else's failure. I have heard Limbaugh and Rove say the goal is the failure of Barack Obama. If that is your goal then where is the desire for the common good. Where is the desire to make this country better and stronger.  Again this is creating a divisive and antagonistic environment. 

Again let me state that I don't believe the failure of this country is the goal of either party or person, Whether they call themselves liberal or conservative or independent or any other label.  

I respect your right to vote republican, can you respect my right to vote democrat. I recognize that the Michigan legislature's republicans were voted in by the people of this state. Can you recognize that President Obama was voted in by the people of the country. Both deserve our respect. 

God Bless America! God Bless us all! 

Ps.my next blog will be the most controversial thus far, am writing it now and will hopefully post it by Mon.

Did she do it? Did Casey kill Caylee? Will we ever know? I doubt it.

There are so many that assume she did it. Nancy whatsherface has used her show and pulpit to convict. Before there was even a trial. I don't watch her show and change the channel whenever she speaks. Didn't want to mention her here but had no other choice. The media has sensationalized and spun this story to convince us of her guilt. 

I keep thinking what a sad story. That poor little girl. That poor family. This whole situation is sad and disturbing. A young child taken from the world to soon and in such a tragic way. A family struggling with personal issues dragged into the living rooms of all, for ratings and entertainment. 

Will we ever know what happened to little Caylee?  So many unsolved murders, it is tragic. Especially when it involves children. How many unsolved missing persons? How does the media decide where to spotlight the attention? Where they feel will generate the most revenue. A case that can be sensationalized so that all will watch. 

Do you remember Elizabeth Smart? She held a press conference. She wanted to use her name and attention to spotlight another case. She went before the press with a photo and everything. The news got her story and cut out the rest. We never saw the story of the other case. The news channels didn't care. And we are going to believe them on the Anthony case?! 

I see the irony in this blog. My family has used the media to spotlight the attention on my sister, Rose Marie Woolwine's case. When the show was being filmed there were many misgivings. Nervousness about how they would handle the case. I do believe the media can be a useful tool for those missing and unsolved cases. Look at what America's most wanted was able to do. But sometimes this can be twisted and distorted. 

How courageous of the jury. Can you imagine how hard it must have been or is going to be for them? They did, what they felt was the right thing against all odds. The weighed the evidence and did their job. The didn't allow themselves to swayed by public opinion. I pray for their safety and their ability to get back to a normal life. 

Did Casey make bad decisions? That is obvious. Was she a liar? probably. Does that make her a killer? No. 

If she committed this heinous crime, she will face judgement. As we all will. We will stand before God, exposed for all we have done and chosen not to do. The good, the bad and the ugly. We will have to answer for what we have done in this life. 

As I consider all of this. I think about the man sitting in a Mexican jail. He is accused of killing my sister. I know in my heart that he took her from us. But I wasn't there and I don't what evidence they have to convict. I know justice for Rosie will be served. I know she is resting in peace. This is regardless of what happens in the courthouse.

Prayers for those who have tragically lost a dear loved one. May you and I find peace and comfort. 

http://www.missingkids.com
www.unsolvedcrimes.com
http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/kidnap

At my eye appointment today, Doc says I have really healthy eyes. The healthiest she has seen all day. (I wonder about the folks she sees) My eyes drive me crazy. I have had perfect vision my whole life until I hit 40. Weird how it hit me at 40. Now I can't read the toaster buttons or a text message. But she doesn't need to see me for another 3 or 4 yrs. Normal aging she says. UGH!!!! 

Young people see and hear the world so clearly and take it for granted. Maybe that is why they know everything. The world still makes sense to them. Or at least they think it does. 

As we age the world gets a little hazier, noise seems like just that, noise. Things start to make less sense. We see things less clearly more crazy. Some of us get more paranoid, more worried. Others start caring less. Doing things they are entitled to or feel they are entitled to. Steve says "when he is old (like he isn't already), he will answer the door in his boxers" I am just glad to hear he will at least have on boxers. 

As I consider bifocals, I remember being able to see things clearly. I remember the world making more sense. We lived in the bliss of youth. Never considering that we too will age.(Hopefully)  "Youth is wasted on the young" I don't know who said this but how true. We think we are immortal. Our lives stretch out before seemingly endlessly.

As we age that begins to change. Somethings,  we see so clearly now, we recognize what is truly important. 

I will not go quietly into the night, I will go screaming, yelling, laughing, dancing and loving!!!! At least I hope to not go quietly. I am not one of those thrill seekers. I don't feel the need to jump off a building or a cliff. I don't have any desire to run a marathon. I like what I like and don't like what I don't like. For me, live music is the best. I can't understand those who can sit and listen to music. (Unless it is a symphony of course) If I am at an outdoor concert with live energetic music, it is impossible to sit still. To dance the night away is my thrill.

As you begin to need glasses more and more. As you begin to say "What" more and more. As you begin to look as confused as you feel, May you enjoy what this crazy mixed up loud world has to offer.

This blog is in two parts. Today was an important day for two reasons. As you all know it was Father's Day and  22 yrs ago on fathers day my sister body was found. 
Both events are significant somewhat obviously.

Let me start with Father's Day. First of all, I grew up without a Father. So what is a Father? This was something I had to learn as an adult. I knew the images of what a father should be and I had dreams of having a real father. 
My father and mother divorced when I was a baby. I never knew my dad, I met him once when I was 13 or 14. He died shortly after that. 
As an adult, I have been extremely lucky to have some great men in my life. Starting with Steve. Watching him with our kids is truly inspiring. He is such a great dad.  I don't think my kids realize how lucky they are. There was always a sense of melancholy watching him because I never had that. On the other hand, as I developed a personal relationship with Jesus, I found another more perfect Father. At that point, I truly felt the love of a Father. I know that sounds cliche, for me it is real.
As I grew in my faith I also began to realize there are lots of good men. Good fathers and good men who teach us, guide us, protect us and love us. Some are fathers in the biological or family sense. Some are men who love those around them, like Priests, Ministers, Doctors, Teachers etc....  
St Joseph and his story came to mind as one of these men. He loved God and he loved Mary. He was willing to give up his life and do what was needed for this young pregnant woman. Joseph quietly protected them, raised Jesus with true love and devotion. 
St Joseph has become my patron saint. I often ask him to pray for the needs of me and my family. Through the intercession of St Joseph, I have forgiven my father. I know that he struggled with his own demons. If given the choice I know he would also have wanted to be a real family. He didn't know how. I pray that he has found peace and rest in the arms of Christ. 

On to a sadder note, today I remember that fateful day 22yrs ago. 
Steve and I standing in his dad's driveway loading the car to leave after celebrating Father's Day. I was so worried about Rosie, who had been missing since Tues. Steve said "when she turns up you are going to be so mad at her for worrying you like this."  I had so hoped he was right.

Later that night, we were sitting on the couch watching the news. A story came on about a young woman, a teenager, found dead in an apartment on Toledo and Junction. Just after the story finished the phone rang. It was someone who knew my sister was missing, asking if I had seen the story. I said yes, but it was a teenager. The phone rang again right after that call. This time the world stopped. It was my brother, Jimmy, asking if I had seen the news. I told him it was a teenager, couldn't be Rosie. Jimmy said "the apartment they showed was Juan's house". I felt a hole open and I fell in. Him and my mom were going the police station because they couldn't get any answers on the phone. So we waited. I begged, I pleaded and I bargained as I waited.  I don't remember what time the call came, I don't even remember who it was. I just remember crumbling on the couch in tears. "Are you sure?" "They said it was a teenager" "Are you sure?" 

Danny was turning 4 in a few days and Mandy was 2. Steve sent them somewhere, not sure where. We went to my mom's house. I remember just sitting on the couch and crying. Every time the phone would ring, every time someone would stop by, every time my mom would say "It was Rosie" "Rosie's dead" tears, tears and more tears. Ruthie stormed in and was hysterical. "No Becky, tell me he didn't do this to her, not Rosie, not Rosie!!!!" More tears. 

There was activity, funeral plans, obituaries and notifications happening. I did none of it. I just cried as things were happening. I was no help for anyone, not even my kids. To this day I don't know who made everything happen, I guess my mom and Jimmy. 

It is weird how I remember somethings so vividly and others nothing. I remember, a day or days later, sitting in the car outside of a drug store on the way to the funeral. I had a dress on. Steve ran in to get something for me, I don't know what. But I was looking around at the people on the street, just going about their daily life. I wanted to get out of the car and yell at them all. "DON'T YOU KNOW, DON'T YOU REALIZE, ROSIE IS GONE. HOW CAN YOU JUST GO ON LIKE NOTHING111111"

It is still so painful to remember. It still hurts as much. Time doesn't heal, but it does make you sane again to live. I still miss her very much. Rest in Pease Rose Marie Woolwine!!

If you watch the news, you would think the biggest issues we face are; whether or not to raise the debt ceiling, republicans vs democrats, Weiner or Arnold stuff etc....

On the other hand, as I talk to friends and neighbors, those things, while some are important, aren't the real issues. These are minor in comparison. 

Some of us are facing tough issues and challenges.  When you are talking to someone you know or meet someone new, be open to where or who they are. Don't assume you know what they have been through or are going through. 
I know we hear it all the time. 

I try to step back from my own issues and listen to what others are going through. People I am currently praying for are dealing with some big issues. Substance abuse, death and dying, suicide, childhood trauma, mental illness, justice and forgiveness. And this is just skimming the surface. I pray daily, right now, for someone specific dealing with each of these issues and more.

I know it comes easier for some. Others of us have to try. We are very egocentric, naturally self centered. We can get so caught up in our own, we forget others are struggling too

Maybe it is easier to dive into politics and tv sensationalism then to deal with real people and real problems. I know how hard it is to know what to say and what to do. For me, I simply try, although imperfectly, to just be there and listen. I offer my ear for listening, my shoulder for crying and my heart in prayer. When it gets right down to it, that is all I have. 

I have had numerous people come up to me and say "I saw you on tv..."  After this it can be awkward, neither one of us know what to say.  But that is ok, I appreciate the good thoughts and sentiments, no matter how awkward.

True friendship and growth can happen when you are truly open.

Do you pray? I do
Do I pray when it is stormy but forget to pray when it is sunny?
Unfortunately yes.
I work everyday on improving my prayer life, just like I work everyday on my health and fitness. 

The past few weeks were hard internally; emotionally. It was one of the few times I asked for prayers for myself and my family. I know it was hard for many of us. I felt the prayers, I felt the power.

Some dear friends sent me a prayer blanket and a beautiful handmade rosary. The prayer blanket ministry prays for those who receive the blankets. I am so grateful, the more prayers the better. A world full of prayer warriors would be an awesome thing!

Not much in this world can we control. No matter how hard we try. Sometimes all we have is our prayers. 

I believe our prayers are answered. Sometimes the answer is no, sometimes yes and sometimes not now. 

Who are we praying to and do they hear us? Yes!

I believe in God. I believe He came to earth as Jesus Christ, to bridge the gap between the divine and human. He came to offer me(and you) salvation. For me(and you) He suffered, died, was buried and rose from the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit. God presence here on earth today.

As I pray, I offer all of me, very simply and humbly. I acknowledge the Holy Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit). I acknowledge my failures. I have not done or been all that Christ wants. I humbly apologize. I am thankful for all the blessings I have. And all that I have been given. Finally I offer all of my troubles, worries and needs. I offer prayers for those around me. God knows our needs, wants and desires, I offer all of these to Him.

I will continue to pray. I ask all of those reading this to pray. No matter where you are in your faith journey. No matter where you are in your life. None of that matters. Like they say "come as you are". God's love is truly unconditional. If you are just quiet not even knowing what to say or do, just being. That is a start. Where to go from there is easy and you will know. 

All of you are in my prayers, I humbly ask that you include me in yours.

God Bless!

First of all, let me say that if this blog seems a little dark that wasn't my intention. I write from where I am at a particular time. What I see, feel and think.

Right now i think, life is tough. We all get battered and bruised. Not one of us gets through unscathed. Some seemingly deal with major trauma, cuts that run deep. Scars that take time to heal. The mother that loses a child, the child that loses a parent. Some people are traumatized beyond comprehension. 
At times, it all seems pointless and random. I don't mean that in a dire way, more a factual way. If you are going to be affected by trauma, there isn't much you can do. Very fatalistic or a fatalism philosophy, I guess.

But I am not fatalist. I do believe in free will. I believe we make choices in this life that affect not only our course but the course of others. I don't know and may never know how these two work. 

A great priest once said "you can't control how you feel but you can control how you act".  You can't always control what this life is going to throw your way, but you can control how you handle it. How you let it effect you. 

What do you choose to see? A somber funeral for a young man so lost as to take his own life, yes absolutely and how sad.  But I also see a tremendous outpouring of love and support for his family. People standing in line for hours to let his mother know she is not alone. 

As my family was profiled on national television, I felt very exposed and still do. It is tough for me to let people in, but the outpouring of love, support and prayers has been incredible. 

Everything we go through in this life makes us who we are. Every scar, every cut, every bruise and every joy, every blessing, every sparkling moment, join together to make us who we are. We are all unique in what we go through, what we deal with. But we are all the same in wanting to be loved and supported.

Livin la Vida Loca
It has been months since I wrote. I think about it all the time. But with Steve and I both starting new jobs in the midst of a DIY giant kitchen remodel, there truly was no time. But here I am again, I will try again to share my thoughts and I would ask that you share yours.

As I write this please remember this is my perspective of things and I can only speak to that. If someone else writes, they may have a different perspective.

As most of you know and many of you watched(Thanks again for the prayers and good thoughts) Dateline aired a show on Fri May 20th about the 22yr old murder of my sister, Rosie. It was and is amazing to me the twists and turns of life.

I can't believe it has been 22 yrs. When Rosie died its shock was tremendous to my family. At the time I didn't really see it. It is hard to see the true nature of trauma from on the inside. 

Growing up in the city of Detroit we were very poor. My childhood was rough, very rough. I don't feel the need to spell out the details just to say it was very rough. There were many Graces as well. God's graces can come through the darkest of places. 

Before you look at my mother with a critical eye, be careful. That big family you saw on Dateline would not take to kindly to that!! My mother is the most amazing person I know. I could only hope to be as strong, courageous and faith filled as her. As bad as my childhood was, hers was too. This life has thrown a lot of shit her way(excuse my bluntness). She cleans it off, stands proud and moves forward. Maybe she will write her story one day. She taught me to have faith, to follow Christ, to know there is good in this world and it starts with love. 

As I was growing up, I always knew that I would leave the city and create a different life for myself. Steve and I were trying to figure out our life 22yrs ago. Steve was working in Ann Arbor and we were on the waiting list to move to a townhouse out there. When Rosie died that summer I had 2 children, Danny was turning 4 and Mandy was  2. She died in June(right before Danny's birthday) her funeral was the last weekend for our childhood church. It was being closed. Then 4th of July weekend we had a house fire. We lost a lot of our belongings then. We boxed up what we could salvage and moved in with Steve's parents while the flat we rented was fixed. During this crazy time, we received the call that a townhouse had become available, but we needed to make a decision ASAP. The waiting list was long and others were waiting too. How could we say no, we were already boxed up and in a state of flux.

We moved to Ann Arbor and I began attending community college. I remember walking around campus wondering "how the hell did I get here". As life took over, justice for Rosie or dealing with her death wasn't something I was prepared to deal with. I never forgot, never stopped missing her. 

I just focused on creating a life for myself and my family in Ann Arbor. It was a culture shock. I felt like an outsider, we were so young with kids. We stood out. I have made a life here and have great friends, wonderful people who mean the world to me. 

I sometimes wish though that Rosie's justice had been a priority. No regrets though, life is. My childhood made me the person I am today, and I am okay with who I am. As my family finally begins to deal with the traumas of life please continue to pray for us.

Justice, Peace and Love.

(more to come next week)

Violent rhetoric

 First of all, my thoughts and prayers to those that have lost lives or suffered because of the tragic shooting in Tucson. 

How much, if any, responsibility does the violent hateful rhetoric that surround politics have in the Tucson shooting? I am specifically talking about Sarah Palin and her putting a target over the district of Congresswoman Gifford. 

I absolutely believe from a legal standpoint the gunmen is liable. But lets talk about from a culture perspective. Everything we say and do on the this planet affects those around us. In my opinion, we are our brothers keeper. As a Christian we are called to love, care and pray for those around us especially our enemies. But are we enemies if we disagree. 

If someone put a gun target on my Facebook page then I was shot the next month, that action would definitely be up for discussion. 

For Mrs. Palin or anyone else to say "Acts of monstrous criminality stand on their own. They begin and end with the criminals who commit them, not collectively with all the citizens of a state, not with those who listen to talk radio, not with maps of swing districts used by both sides of the aisle, not with law-abiding citizens who respectfully exercise their First Amendment rights at campaign rallies, not with those who proudly voted in the last election." I find this statement interesting since she does appear to hold this belief in reference to the 9/11 attacks. We can all be hypocritical at times, especially to rationalize or justify our actions. 

This brings an interesting point. How much is Middle Eastern rhetoric that taut anti american hatred responsible for terrorist attacks on our country? I know this is an extreme example but I think it is a valid one. If we perpetuate and promote this kind of violent rhetoric, if we create a whole news channel devoted to riling up the anger in people, then we have to expect some consequences of this action. President Obama receives more death threats than any previous Presidents, even George W. I do believe this is a direct result of the perpetuation of violent rhetoric. If we continue this course with the mass media then those on the edge can be pushed to actions of violence. 

We can't stifle free speech, but we can make it a personal action to turn off, not listen to, not promote such violence. Let news channels know by contacting them or turning them off that you will not perpetuate this. If Fox News wants to be a voice for the conservative right wing that is fine, that is not what I am talking about here.

I firmly believe that those that disagree with me are not my enemies. Even those who don't share my pro life beliefs. That is a very emotionally heated issue. I don't think those who disagree are my enemies nor do I hate them. I pray for them. I don't think Republicans are my enemies, as much as I may disagree with a lot of their platforms and get very frustrated, I don't hate republicans. 

Wherever you stand on this issue. Remember that even if we disagree, are in different political parties or go to different churches or don't even go to church, we are all neighbors. We can all grow, learn and share much love between us. 

New Year Resolutions

Today was the Feast of the Epiphany of our Lord. We heard of the wisemen bringing gifts and paying homage to the baby Jesus. Not only did the wisemen bring gifts but they brought themselves. The sacrifice of the journey and the humble recognition of Christ as a King for all people. 

I was thinking about what Christ wants from me. He wants nothing more and nothing less than me. I am called to pick up my cross and follow him. Sounds like a challenge but He will take our cross on himself like he already did on Calvary. He wants us to stand, kneel, or crawl before Him. He will accept us no matter how we look or what kind of baggage we have. He calls us to do the right thing, no matter how challenging it might be.

We all make new resolutions and or have thoughts of things we want to improve about ourselves. We see the new year as a beginning, as a "do over". We put hope in the world and in ourselves. We say we will work on being healthier, losing weight, stop smoking, be nicer, be more spiritual etc.... Statistically 2weeks is how long a new year's resolution lasts. But I know we can do better. I know we can change and improve no matter what our age or difficulty.

As we make new years resolutions to improve who we are, to stop smoking, lose weight or just try to be a better human in this crazy world. We should offer it up as a sacrifice. Draw on the strength of Christ, He wants what is best for us. We can bring him Gold (the precious gift of our life), Frankincense(our spirituality) and Myrrh(the belief in life after death). 

I hope to continue this blog into the new year, but as I start a new job and a kitchen remodeling not sure how much time. My goal is at least once a week if not more. I know there are lots of interesting things to write about and hear your take on. I want to share my thoughts and hear yours as well.

Happy 2011 and God Bless you and your loved ones!!!!