"Smile though your heart is aching, smile even though it's breaking" Nat King Cole
This song has been running through my head since I learned that my son, daughter in law and grandson are moving back to Seattle WA.
I have tried to allow my kids to live their lives. I have tried not to guilt or prod them to live a life I think they should. Have I succeeded? I don't know, you would have to ask them.
I know the move to Seattle is not being done to hurt me(or Steve). I know they have to live their lives and choose what is best for them. Whether I agree or disagree.
I just always thought I would be an integral part of my grand children's lives. I always thought I would be connected and have special bond that includes spending lots of quality time. I know Steve feels the same way I do. But time and distance will change that. A 3 hour time difference and 1900 miles will make the relationship I have with my grandson different. I am not writing this to make then feel bad, I am just stating the facts. I am not trying to guilt them, just sharing my feelings. I have struggled with writing this and posting this. I sometimes have this desire to write things out and can't find peace until I write and post. So if this causes hurt feelings, I am sorry.
Some have suggested that I move to the Pacific Northwest. I would never say never, but right now that will not happen. My mom and Steve's mom are here. My mom will be 75 this year. I cherish her and want to be a part of her life for as long as possible. Now I feel like I have to choose between my mom and my grandson.
I trust in God, I trust in Steve. Both of taken care of me and have never let me down. I have to believe that the next 30 years will be as awesome and the last 30 years. What is in store for me will be what is right. I have to place my trust in that.
My kids have made me proud. They are great people and they live their lives. They work hard and love the world and its people. My only wish for them is that they have or develop a strong relationship with God. I need to trust in them as well. Trust them to live their lives for what is right for them and their families. I just hope I am a part of their plan.
I pray and will always pray for my families happiness. That they find their purpose in life and have peace. I will support and love my family. I will smile through the tears, I will pray for peace, happiness and love.
