I haven’t written in a while but I have been thinking about it a lot. So here goes another restart.
It has been to long, 2 yrs!! Wow!!!
I may not advertise this one, I mostly write for myself anyway. If you are reading this Thanks!!
I have been thinking about where I am in my life right now. I am well into a mid life crisis, well maybe not crisis, but definitely a mid life something. The thought or words that keep popping into my head are “I am not sitting on my hands anymore” As with all analogies this one will be weak but let me try and explain anyways.
As most people know I had a rough childhood. It was crazy, it was dysfunctional to say the least. So I decided that I wanted a straight square life of my own. I married an amazing man that was perfect for that. Not that he is a square(using the old slang for someone boring), he is far from boring but he does like a nice square life. And that is beautiful, he has always known what he wanted and how to make it happen for that most part.
I, on the other hand, had no idea what a square life looked like. I decided to do everything I could do give my kids a square, secure life. So I sat on my hands, I surrounded myself with wonderful people who also lived on the straight and narrow. It was the whole ‘fake it till you make it kind’ of thing. Steve and I decided that I would be a stay at home mom for the kids. I wasn’t a very good stay at home mom. My kids ate too much junk food, watched too much tv and played too many video games. They didn’t do arts & crafts or go on field trips with me.
But, I was there with love and all I could offer. Steve and I chose not to be partying drinking parents. Again the straight and narrow life. I have no complaints about that. It was what we wanted and what I needed.
Now about 30 yrs later I am done sitting on my hands. I am a mix of that child who grew up in the ghetto of Detroit and that square straight stay at home mom. I love who I am and I love letting my hair down to enjoy all this world has to offer.
Again, as most of you know, I am a religious person and I will not go totally crazy and let this world take that away from me. As I venture out to enjoy; my eyes and my heart are fixed on Christ and my prayer is always let me enjoy this time but save me from myself and the dangers of the world full of lust, greed, gluttony etc....
I drink, I dance, I go out late(past midnight even :0). One of my favorite things is to be on dance floor with a little buzz and bass pounding music and just completely lose myself. So if you see me please come and enjoy the dance. I will do things and dress in things and say things that many may say “can you believe that, its crazy, she must have forgot that she is over 50 now”.
I will not live by other people’s rules. I will live by my rules, I will not do anything that God or my husband will not want, out of respect and love. I will not embarrass my kids now or ever,
well maybe a little embarrassment will remind them that I am more that just their mother, lol!
Right now I want to enjoy every moment, every aspect of where my life is. Whether that is hanging out with my grandsons or my kids, going to church or with Steve to Florida or with Lisa on a road trip or with Maria at a concert. Exploring the world, enjoying every moment to the fullest.
Wherever the road leads!!!
Come along for the ride if you want an adventure.
Much love and blessings to all!!!
