Liking yourself, even the parts that need improvement.

Okay finding a balance of liking yourself and who you are; and working on improving who you are. Where is the line? For this blog I am talking external. Internal would be a similar idea but for now I will talk about outside.

I have lost some weight and am leaner, stronger, and healthier. I know to be even healthier and look better, I need to lose 30 more. I try not obsess about this, just keep working on it. Slowly is ok, but sometimes I take a step backwards. When i do, I just refocus and start again.

But back to the point of finding the balance. I will never be a 20 year old again but I can be the best I can be right now. Most of you know I have had some plastic surgery. I prefer to call it reconstructive; putting things back together after years self inflicted abuse. Am I just rationalizing or trying to somehow say plastic surgery otherwise is a problem. I don't believe so, people are just trying to improve themselves. But it can be a problem, when overdone or becomes an obsession. Where is that line and who drew it?

My first procedure produced amazing results. It helped me see and show what I worked so hard to achieve. The next procedure well; I will let you know the results in a few months. How many procedures is to many? How much weight loss is to much? How much exercise is to much? I don't believe I am anywhere near to much for any of these. I exercise 4x a week. I have had 2 procedures.  But that is it for me. There are parts that I need to work and weight I need to lose. But I am who I am. I think I obsess more about what is to much than actually doing to much. 

It is interesting when people say "you have lost enough, you don't want to be too skinny". I am so far from being too skinny. I think people are just used to how you looked being heavier. There are real eating disorders out there and you can certainly be underweight. But according to every doctor I have ever seen I am still very much overweight. Again back to finding a balance of being healthy but not obsessing.

I will never be perfect in this life, so its time to accept that and enjoy who I am. While everyday working to improve inside and out.

Have a blesses advent season!

Merry Christmas!!! Or should I say " have a blessed advent"

We begin the Christmas Season, Advent. One of my favorite times of the year.
I love the two fold message, remembering the first coming of Christ and remembering that He will come again. Lots of prayers and readings, discussions and homilies on what it all means. Helps to keep us focused on the real meaning of the season.

This year we have a long advent season.  Because Christmas is on Sat., we get a full week for the last week of advent. 

What traditions does your family have for this season? Do you light an advent candle on Sundays? If you don't, this is a good year to start. You simply need 4 candles, 3 red and 1 pink. Just google advent prayers and you will find lots to choose from. Light one candle every Sunday. The pink one is lit second to last. It is a reminder that we are almost there. This is a great way to refocus on the season.

We remember John the Baptist, who preached repentance and preparing the way, up to his death. We remember that Christ will come like a thief in the night, we won't know when. We should always be ready. We hear of Mary's visit by the angel and her saying "yes" to the will of God. We hear of Joseph's angel visit and his saying "yes". Are we ready to say " yes, Lord, I hear you calling in the night". 

As the stores and the media puts all this pressure on us to buy the perfect gifts or have the best of this or that. That Christmas is about shopping, parties and eating,  advent can help us remember that these are just outward signs of our true joy in Christ. I do enjoy shopping and gifts and socializing, but I try to not get caught up in it and lose focus.

For me and other Catholics, maybe others too, Christmas doesn't end on Christmas day. That is the beginning of the Christmas season. Through mid January, we continue to talk about Christ's coming at the Nativity until His Baptism and the beginning of His public ministry. What a great time!

"Have a blesses advent, may Joy of the season be with you and yours!" 

   

Even now.....

"Even now, I swear I think of you and how I wished you knew."  One of my favorite songs from Barry Manilow. 

Got me to thinking about music and how much a part of my life it is. Songs can effect my mood or tap into how I am feeling. If you stop by my house on any given day, you can tell my mood by the music playing inside. Music can be very personal, one song can speak volumes to you but mean nothing to someone else. For instance, the song mentioned above, makes me think of lost loved ones. Particularly my sister whom I lost 21 yrs ago. I realize the song is about lost love. 

When Steve and I started dating in high school, we had our song. But actually we had our songs, we had about 10 songs that we loved and called our song. Anything from "key largo" to "two less lonely people". I remember as a teenager, I would lay in front of the stereo in the living room and just lose myself in all kinds of music.

Even now, I love to lose myself in music. There is nothing better than to get caught up in the music and the rhythm. For me it is a release. Whether I am exercising or out dancing or at a concert, there is something about losing yourself for a moment.

This certainly is a better way than with alcohol or any other crazy substance. 

I like all kinds of main stream music. Hardcore rock(with the screaming) and hardcore rap(with all the swearing), I don't care for. I am also not a fan of classical or opera. Furthermore I don't care for the Beatles, Beach boys or Taylor Swift. To much hype for me and not enough substance. I know I am weird, but like said music is very personal. If you like them good for you, I hope you enjoy whatever music moves you in heart, mind and body.

Music can spark memories, bring people together, promote a message(be it good or bad). There is nothing more frustrating than hearing a song with a phenomenal beat but terrible lyrics or message. It is unfortunate when an artist creates an awesome beat or rhythm but use the lyrics to be stupid.

There are some good pop with uplifting lyrics or great poetry. There is some great music out there in all genres and labels. Not to mention the independents and underground music. Mainstream radio is barely the tip of the iceberg. There are great classics from the all musicals times and eras. Latin music,country music and local bands are making great music. Find your passion and lose yourself. 


"It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?"
Pink's - Glitter in the air.

 

Reflections of ourselves

There are 2 issues I want to mention.

One is being honest with yourself and one is tied to our self esteem. For some both issues are tied into our self esteem. For me I don't think this is the case. 

The first issue is some people are simply not photogenic. I certainly don't consider myself to be unattractive, but I don't take good photos. For some reasons I don't come out looking very well. I always wonder what a pro could do. I seriously don't believe this has to do with my self esteem. Just never get the look right. 

Now on the other hand, we are our own worst enemies. When I look at pictures of myself I do see the negatives. I am 65 lbs lighter, stronger and leaner than I have been in a long time. Why can't I see that? Why can't we see the good we have? I see the jiggly parts, the fat parts and every blemish. Why do I do that? 

Is it something we can work on? Can we look at the picture and say positive things. Can we turn off those voices in our head that have been there so long? I believe that we can change and grow always. No matter what age. Just like the unfortunate situation of verbal abuse, that can affect your mind. Maybe if we hear good things enough even from ourselves it can alter our thought process.

Am I fooling myself thinking these two issues aren't tied together? I still don't think so. Looking at pictures of different people, some are photogenic and some are not. It is hard to get people to be honest with you on this subject because it is a sticky place.  No one will say you are nice looking but not photogenic. They are on reality shows like that next top model show. They will say it! 

 

The roller coaster called life

Life truly is a roller-coaster. A series of ups and downs, joy and sorrows, hope and despair. The good the bad and ugly I like to say. 

You could be cruising along in auto pilot and things are going fairly well. Then the rug gets pulled out from under you. You go down, your options here are to stay down or get back up. Your head is spinning, you are trying to think straight, to figure out what happened. Sometimes I feel like I stand but don't move. I like to get my bearings first, pray about it and then move. But you could get stuck here standing like a deer in headlights. 

Then there are times of pure joy, bliss even. You look around wonder at the glory of life. I try to take it all in and remember the feeling. Thanking God for this moment.

Sometimes it is minor hills and valleys. Blips on the radar so to speak. The normal up and downs of life. Then there are the straight tracks, the auto pilot that gets you from one hill or valley to another.

The high points can be awesome, the valleys very low and you can't see a way out. But always the hope that the way out is up. That a high point is coming, things will get better.

The difference with life is you have some control. I say some because there are forces out of your control and forces you let in that take some control. Each twist and turn, each hill and valley you respond to, you chose the next path. There is the uncertainty of what's ahead. You can't see, you can speculate. There are others on the track making their paths. There are lots of collisions, lots of joining of cars, lots of splitting of cars. Always the uncertainty of what is around the next corner. Always the question of which path to take.

Ride the ride, try to have more fun than not. When it is time to get off be thankful you had the opportunity. 

What would you do to give yourself an advantage?

As congress struggles with earmarks and how to police themselves. As athletes struggle to compete against someone using performance enhancers. Makes me wonder to what lengths would someone go to get an advantage,

Where is line? Is there a grey area? Would you use connections to get a job? Is that even the same thing?

Can a politician who refuses to use/get earmarks get reelected? It is a risk to stand up against something. The athlete who doesn't use performance enhancers can't compete with those who do. He/She will lose the opportunity.  

Maybe I should back up and ask a basic question. Do you think using performance enhancers is wrong? What about earmarks or pork barrel spending? I chose to tie these two together because it felt it makes the point about trying to make about giving yourself advantage. I assume most people agree that these are tough choices. Maybe you don't see a problem with a football player enhancing his workout.
Let's assume you agree these are wrong.

How do we change things so everyone can compete fairly. Do we introduce more laws, more guidelines, more drug tests etc.... Is it possible for congress to police themselves and create a law to stop themselves. Could you? Both political parties use earmarks, the majority of politicians use them. How does it stop? Once you start rationalizing and cross the line then previous things that were clearly wrong become the grey area. As you move farther away from what is right, you can rationalize more wrongs. That is the danger. 

Once earmarks became commonplace the floodgates open. You have things added to bills that have nothing whatsoever to do with the bill. And furthermore we allow our politicians to use this against one another. He didn't vote for bill xyz that gave military personnel a raise because he doesn't support them. How horrible! When in reality he was voting against an earmark. They all do it, both sides and we allow it. Just like we allow all the earmarks and deficits spending. Talk of tough cuts, taxes needed and deficit limits can cause a politician to lose elections. We aren't honest with ourselves.      

Christ says the road is narrow and to pick up your cross and follow Him.  That is were the rubber hits the road so to speak. What are we willing to give up to do the right thing? Is it easy? No. Is it doable? Yes. Anything is possible with the Lord by your side and you are confident you are doing the right thing.     

Power

When this world knocks us down, why do we get back up?
Because of the power of the human spirit!

When sin pulls us down and tries to control us, why do we get back up? 
Because of the power of the Cross!

When this world assaults us and attempts every kind of evil, why do we get back up?
Because of the power of God!

When we are oppressed and controlled, why do we get back up?
Because of the power of free will!

When we are hurt and in need, why do we get back up?
Because of the power of Love!

When our childhood baggage resurfaces and tries to knock us down, why do we get back up?
Because of the power of family and love!

When we are battered and abused, why do we get back up?
Because of the power of our strength!

When unbearable loss is thrust upon us, why do we get back up?
Because of the power of life!

When we feel all hope is lost, why do we get back up?
Because of the power of Hope!

When we can't get up anymore, why do we get back up?
Because of the power of Christ!

When death is at your door, why do we get back up?
Because of the power of the risen Christ!