I am Catholic and yes I am saved

I am Catholic and yes I am saved. 

By the passion and death of Christ, by His rising from the dead, I am saved.

By my proclamation that Christ is my Lord and Savior, I am saved

By my baptism, I am saved

By my receiving of the Eucharist, when I profess "this is the body, blood, soul and divinity" of my Lord Jesus Christ, I am saved

When I make the sign of the cross, I renew my baptismal promise, to renounce satan and all the I do, all that I am, I do in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirt, I am saved.

When I go to mass, I profess my belief and commitment to Christ as my Lord and Savior, I am saved. 

When I say the "our Father" and recommit my life to Christ, I am saved. 

When I live my Christian faith, not to earn but to draw closer to my Savior, I am saved. 

Christ says in James, "I will separate the goats from the sheep" He will know I am Christian because I fed him when he was hungry, I clothed him when he was naked, I visited him when he was sick or imprisoned. 

I am Catholic and I am saved, not by my own doing or by anything I deserve.

I am saved because Christ died on the cross for my sins.

I am Catholic and my faith keeps me focused on my Savior.

I am Catholic and I strive to live as a sheep of Christ, my faith helps me to focus on loving Christ in his people around me. 

I am Catholic and I love.

I am Catholic and I know

I am Catholic and I believe

I am Catholic and I am saved. 

Smile through tears

"Smile though your heart is aching, smile even though it's breaking" Nat King Cole 

This song has been running through my head since I learned that my son, daughter in law and grandson are moving back to Seattle WA. 

I have tried to allow my kids to live their lives. I have tried not to guilt or prod them to live a life I think they should. Have I succeeded? I don't know, you would have to ask them.

I know the move to Seattle is not being done to hurt me(or Steve). I know they have to live their lives and choose what is best for them. Whether I agree or disagree. 

I just always thought I would be an integral part of my grand children's lives. I always thought I would be connected and have special bond that includes spending lots of quality time. I know Steve feels the same way I do. But time and distance will change that. A 3 hour time difference and 1900 miles will make the relationship I have with my grandson different. I am not writing this to make then feel bad, I am just stating the facts. I am not trying to guilt them, just sharing my feelings. I have struggled with writing this and posting this. I sometimes have this desire to write things out and can't find peace until I write and post. So if this causes hurt feelings, I am sorry. 

Some have suggested that I move to the Pacific Northwest. I would never say never, but right now that will not happen. My mom and Steve's mom are here. My mom will be 75 this year. I cherish her and want to be a part of her life for as long as possible. Now I feel like I have to choose between my mom and my grandson. 

I trust in God, I trust in Steve. Both of taken care of me and have never let me down. I have to believe that the next 30 years will be as awesome and the last 30 years. What is in store for me will be what is right. I have to place my trust in that.

My kids have made me proud. They are great people and they live their lives. They work hard and love the world and its people. My only wish for them is that they have or develop a strong relationship with God. I need to trust in them as well. Trust them to live their lives for what is right for them and their families. I just hope I am a part of their plan. 

I pray and will always pray for my families happiness. That they find their purpose in life and have peace. I will support and love my family. I will smile through the tears, I will pray for peace, happiness and love.

Socks and underwear

I have to buy socks and underwear;

 because God told me to.

I know crazy right. Believe me I hear it my own head too. 

About 6 weeks ago I decided to make up little care packages for anyone I see begging. (I don't say homeless because I don't know nor assume that they don't have a home.) Anyway, I don't carry cash so I decided to make little brown bag care packages. It was rather spur of the moment. I put it what I thought someone might need; a protein bar, pair of gloves, hand and feet warmers, a deck of cards, and a Saint or prayer card. As I was putting them together I kept getting the sense that they weren't quite ready. But I didn't know what I was missing.  

I put the little care packs together, put them in a canvas grocery sack and set them in my back seat. I made sure they were reachable while I was driving. Weird thing though, since I made them about 3weeks ago, I haven't come across one person to give them to, not one. I was still getting the sense that they weren't ready. 

Today I was driving around doing errands thinking about the care packages, doing God's will, and the corporal works of mercy. I was beginning to doubt. All the little voices in the my head were getting louder. "They are all criminals", "They don't need your little bags", "You are missing the point once again in doing God's will", blah blah blah..... I was getting discouraged and doubting again. I said to God, please just let me know if I am on the right track or need to go a different way. Please!!!

Literally 10 minutes later, I am making a left into a strip mall. I see a young man on the corner with a sign. Where he is I may end up depending on traffic. I run my errand and leave the area. I go to make another left if I can, this would put me right next to him. If I can't make a left, I would have to go around and pass right by him. As I pull up to make the left, there is no traffic in my way, not one car. I smoothly turn. I stop at the red light and there he is with a sign asking for help. I open my window, hand him the care package, say "God Bless you brother". He takes it says thanks and walks away. I roll up my window and look at the light. He walks back a moment later and waves. I roll down my window and he thanks me again. He is very appreciative. 

He says gloves are always needed but so are socks and underwear. If you get the chance to share those, many of us out here need them. I said "socks and underwear, got it!" I said this as much to him as to God. The light turns green and I go on about my life. 

Now I have to gather socks and underwear! If you see any on sale please let me know.

God Bless you and your family. Be warm, safe and giving this new year. 

What is a feminist? Am I a feminist? Are you? Do you care?

Am I a feminist? I always thought so, I have always considered myself a feminist. But recently I am not so sure. 

I guess it depends on your definition of a feminist. 

I don't really like labels. It is to much of a box. Are you liberal, conservative, republican, democrat, blah blah. I don't agree with anybody 100%. 

I am christian, very devout strong christian. Do I agree 100% with every other christian? Not at all. 

I am a woman, 100% through and through female. Do I agree with every other woman out there? Not at all. And that's okay.

So am I a feminist? Does the label or name even matter? Not really, but it just got me to thinking about that fact that I consider myself a feminist but many others wouldn't, I find that interesting. 

I believe in the genius of woman. The glory and splendor of woman. We are amazing, strong, beautiful creatures. We are more than our genitalia and hormones. We can do anything. We can be anything. We are strong and fierce. We are different than men. Not weaker, not less, just different. Our muscle structure, our hormones and our genitalia are all signs of that. 

But that doesn't make us less deserving of adequate pay, the right to vote, the importance of our being, and that we can't do anything we set our minds to...

All woman are glorious, from the so called "butch" to the so called "girly girly" ones. We all make up "woman". I respect those that don't wear skirts ever to those that only wear skirts. Those who stay home and raise their families to those who are devoted to a career or vocation. To those who have chosen the religious life to those who have chosen to be CEOs. From the consecrated virgin to the mother of 13. All women are to be loved and respected. 

Our bodies are not broken or burdensome. Our natural rhythm and cycles are part of us, not something to pump full of hormones and try to suppress. Pregnancy isn't a burden or a disease. It is a beautiful life giving gift. It should be honored and respected. Pregnant women, especially those in crisis, but not just those in crisis, should be offered respect, healthcare, efficient adoption resources, affordable day care, and other options, not abortion. Abortion is a violent intrusive act that hurts women.

We are not just objects for sexual desire. Sex is a natural beautiful act. Our enjoyment of it is a gift. Not something to be traded and used up. It is something to be cherished and honored. 

I, like some, want to feel sexy and pretty. But my self worth shouldn't be tied up in how desirable I can be to men. My self worth is worth more than that. 

I love dance music. l love to dance and get lost in the beat. But some of the songs out there are horrendous to women. We justify, I have justified, and said it's just a song, it's no big deal. That reasoning is lacking in the love and dignity I feel all women deserve. 

We, women, sometimes can be so hard on each other. The pretty one gets shunned, because we think she has it made. I work with a very pretty young lady. She gets hit on all the time. She is friendly and chatty but so many take that as a signal. How hard it must be to deal with that on a daily basis? Or what about the chubby one that gets shamed for her weight. Others judge everything she does, what she eats, how much she sits or walks or whatever. How hard it must be to live with that scrutiny? The skinny one; who has to deal with the questions; "Do you ever eat? Are you anorexic?" Maybe she is just skinny.  

The woman with the down syndrome child has to deal with the whispered, sickening question, "Did you know before she was born?". What a horrible thing to ask a mother about her child. "Why didn't you kill her?" This is what they are really asking. What about that beautiful little girl, looked at like something that shouldn't be here. 

We judge each other based on what we wear. We put out lists of things you shouldn't do at age "whatever". We judge working mothers, stay at home mothers. We judge those that have chosen to be open to life and have lots of children. We judge those who can't or don't have children. The list can go on and on. 

Instead we should be building each other up, supporting one another. And I know many out there do just that. We need to be better at it. We need to practice it every day. To teach our little girls to love and respect themselves and others.

To honor the dignity, genius and beauty that is woman.

I am not sure if this makes me a feminist or not. But I do know that the label doesn't matter.

 

To quote Helen Reddy

"oh yes, I am wise

But it is a wisdom born of pain

yes, I've paid the price

But look how much I've gained

If I have to, I can face anything

I am strong

I am invincible

I am woman"

Holding on and letting go

"I love you Jesus, not for what you give but what you take" St. Mother Theresa of Calcutta.

This was the thought behind today's homily. A beautiful thought. It was a great mass today. I normally prefer a more contemporary mass but today we went to 11am which is a more orthodox, high mass. 

As I sat there looking around, it always gives me such peace of mind. All these people, various shapes, sizes, ages, nationalities and races, all there taking a moment out of the busyness of life to worship God. We all stand together, pray together and worship together. 

Fr. Todd lights the incense and the smoke rises, the smell wafts throughout the church. It rises like our prayers to God. All of our prayers lifting each other. Adoring God, asking for mercy with a contrite heart, thanking him for what he has done in our lives, asking for supplications.

"not for what you give but what you take" Fr Todd references. In his homily, he talks about what we offer to God. We offer our lives but then when tries to take over, we don't let go. It is a work in progress. Something we all need to work on. 

We like to offer. We like to say we are giving. But are we really. Do we allow others to take?

CS Lewis says our giving should be felt. It should not be just the extra we have. It should be harder and more real. If someone needs a coat, we should give him the one on our back. Not just the extra one in the closet. That is the challenge. To trust in God's providence and allow him to take over our lives. To trust in God's providence to care for us if we give till we feel it. 

We are called to give our love. This is tricky. Loving someone doesn't mean we have to agree on everything. We disagree because we love the other and want the best for them. Most times for me, my pride gets in the way, I just want to be right. It is no longer based on truth and love. That is not what Christ called us to. He sat down with those on the fringes, he loved those who disagreed with him, he loves those who put him to death. As he was dying he said "Father forgive them for they know not what they do".  That is what we are called to do. To love and forgive, even the worst and most atrocious offenses. This comes from Grace, this comes from giving ourselves over completely to God. 

I heard a story once of a woman who was in the concentration camps in Germany. Her mother, father and sister were all killed. She was giving talks on forgiveness around the world. At one such talk a man come up to her and asked for forgiveness. He didn't recognize her. She recognized him. He was the man who killed her sister. She was shaken to her core. She was staring at him with his hand outstretched. She couldn't reach for it. She couldn't forget what happened to her sister. At that moment she began to pray. She asked for God's grace. She said "Lord, this is on you. I can't reach out. You have to do it" Slowly she reached her hand out and he took it. They shook hands. She says a great weight was lifted in that moment. She felt it, she knew it. God had saved her and this man, and it was good. She truly gave over her life to God, she allowed him to take it. 

St. Mother Theresa allowed God to completely take over her life. She thanked him for taking it. Something we can all do. We are not all called to serve the poor in India.  We are all called for different purposes. Can we allow God to take over our lives and thank him for it? To live out our purpose. If we do...

it will be better and more glorious than we could ever imagine. 

Much love and blessings to all!

This is me

This is me. Pure and simple. Some say naive and uneducated. The optimist, who, to a fault, try to see the good in people. I assume all people are good and some just make bad choices. I know naive right?

I also know that when I begin this next part of the blog many of you will not continue reading. I know you will say there she goes again on her God train. UGH!! But I would politely ask that you do me the favor of reading on. If you disagree or don't get it that's fine. I just ask that you listen to what I am saying. That's all

I know God is not dead, neither is the concept of God. For me, He is as real as you. For me to deny him, would be like someone once said, to deny the Sun exists. I see it in the sky, it brings me warmth and light and makes me feel better, but I have never touched it or held it. It is real though and so is God. 

God has been such a part of my life, always, that I have never doubted. Not once, ever. 

When I say this to people, they look at me like I am crazy. Like I am from another planet and am speaking a foreign language. First of all, they don't believe me. "Yeah right, everyone doubts and debates the existence of God". But I am telling you the truth. I have never doubted the existence of God and that He came incarnate in the form of Jesus Christ. I have known these to be true my whole life. 

God has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. He has done some amazing things. I have seen His work, I have felt His hands. I have had a few mystical experiences that I rarely share with people. Because their doubt, the look on their faces, cause me to wonder if I am crazy. 

I have wondered about what the other side will be. That is the unknown that causes the pit in my stomach. Nothing in our minds can fathom that or put words to it. People with near death experiences have tried. Dante tried. But I know that it will be nothing like that. We all have a fear of the unknown and that is my unknown.

I also know that God gives us free will. True free will. Absolute free will. We can choose to have Him in our lives or not. He will not force himself on us. We can choose to deny His existence all the way to hell. I am not trying to be fire and brimstone here. I am just saying if you choose to deny God and you die, you will be eternally separated from Him. That is hell, simply put I guess. 

I also that God wants us to be with Him. He wants to be a part of your life, my life, all lives. He loves us unconditionally. Truly, completely unconditionally. Katy Perry sings about unconditional love, we all talk about it. But we don't really accomplish it. We all have our deal breakers on that. If someone does the most awful thing imaginable. For each of us that may be different, what is it for you? That one thing that is unforgivable. There isn't anything in God's eyes that is unforgivable. That is not to say there are no consequences. There are, we all have to sow what we reap. Jesus forgave the thief on the cross. The thief still had to bear his cross till his death. But God's love was there with the thief through it all.  

God is alive and well. He is real and present.

Thanks for reading. Much love and respect to all. 

Oh how I wanted a father, a dad, a traditional family.

I grew up in tough streets of Detroit to a single mom. She did the best she could with what she had, what she was given. Was she perfect? Absolutely not. Did she make mistakes? Yes, lots, some big and small. But I hold no grudge against her. Like I said she did the best she could with what she had. She worked and tried and tried again. Always trying to improve our life. Even when things got there worst, she stood tall, drew on her faith and kept going. But she wasn't a father, a dad. 

Every time there was a new boyfriend I would pray that this one would be nice, would love us all and be a dad. It never worked out that way. Some were nice, others not. Some tried, some didn't. I still always longed for a traditional family, a mom and a dad and kids. 

I have worked hard to give that to my kids. My husband is a great dad to his kids. He is a blessing to our family. Steve and I have worked hard to have a happy marriage. It is a choice, every day. It can be challenging. Especially for me, who comes from a home that didn't model a strong marriage. I had to learn and grow into it. I prayed a lot for strength. But I wanted my kids to have a strong traditional family. 

We still work on our marriage, everyday. Some days are easy and joyful. Some days we have to work at it. We have to pick our battles. Some days it takes a dying to my selfish needs. 

Other days it takes having an open conversation with my husband about my needs and desires. Other days I have to listen to what he needs and desires. We both work at making the other one happy. In giving we receive, in dying to oneself we find happiness. We take our vows very seriously. We have put God in the midst of our marriage. We know we can't do it alone. 

I do see young people struggling with the idea of marriage and giving 100% to someone else. Our society has taught them to be selfish. To get their own needs and desires met at the expense of others. Our society no longer values obedience, discipline, unselfishness. We say we don't need anyone but ourselves. None of these are true. We need each other, we need God.

There is true love in complete unselfishness for those you love. Marriage is tough, marriage is a choice everyday. 

Numerous studies have shown that kids that grow up in a traditional home with a mom and a dad do better, are more successful. Girls who grow up with a father have better self esteem. For me it was important for my kids to have a mom and a dad, a traditional family. For Steve and I to be happy and to reflect what a marriage can look like. Where we perfect? Absolutely not. Did we make mistakes? Yes, some big and some small. We did the best with what we had and what we were given. We are still learning and growing. Drawing on our faith and standing tall.