To know me is to know my faith

How do I share the faith that is such a part of my life without those around thinking I am trying to sell them something?  We talk about our day, our jobs, our families and seemingly every aspect of our lives. But if I try to talk about my faith, my church life, then the mood changes. 

It is a vital part of who I am, a vital part.

God is alive and well. He has been a part of my life always. 

Imagine for a moment that God is real, that "God is not dead". All I am asking is if you don't believe or just don't know, that you just try to understand where I am coming from. What directs my life.

I try to understand others, I try to put myself in others shoes. The whole "walk a mile in their moccasins" concept. Understand where others are coming from. I try to understand others as best I can. 

If you want to understand where I am, please read on.

So just close your eyes and imagine it is true. That God really does exist and he created the Jewish people and their faith. Established a covenant(promise with them). Then 2000 years or so ago He came down from heaven.

Like Joan Osborn says "What if God was one of us?" Just imagine, just think about how you would feel or react, if you thought Jesus came down from heaven and was God. That he came to join the divine and the mortal. Think about if you actually, truly believed this, that God walked among us.

That he was born of a virgin woman by the power of God. A woman dedicated to God and her son. Yes a virgin in every aspect. That God in all his power made this happen. I know it sounds crazy but imagine you believed it. Actually truly know it happened.

That he was crucified for committing no crimes. An innocent victim, a spotless sacrifice. This might not be so hard to believe. We see the innocent suffering of those in this world. 

 

Would if you really truly believed that Christ rose from the dead and was with his disciples for 40 days before ascending to heaven? That he really did establish the Christian Faith. 

When Christ rose from the dead that was pinnacle for the christian. That was when we knew he conquered death. That we knew with him we could have eternal life. 

In His rising from the dead, we develop a greater understanding of all that came before. The virgin birth, the miracles, the parables, the Old Testament, all take on a new and deeper understanding. 

That is why Easter is the holiest of holy days.

 I know it might be hard but I do believe. If you believed this would it change your life?  Would it impact how you lived?

Imagine someone performing all the miracles spoken of in the bible. 

Just think for a moment........ If I believe this what would it mean, if I believe this, how would I live. Please just try to understand me a little bit.

I strive to live my life focused on God. Loving him and his people. I try to treat everyone with love and respect. Even when we don't agree. Even if I choose to not be a part of something I don't agree is right. I never, or really really try, not to speak ill of others. I have never said someone is going to hell. I believe hell(the eternal separation from God) exists and I don't want to go there. 

But who goes there is between God and each person. 

I ask for respect and understanding as I live and practice my faith in every aspect my life. 

I feel as passionate about my belief system as you do yours.   

Thanks for reading and trying to get to know me a little.

Much love and respect to all.

Meeting God on His terms

Meeting God on my terms not His.

Today my scripture reading was Luke 23:32-43, Crucifixion of Christ. This part of the Gospels always moves me. Always makes me think.

First, here was this man, beautiful, smart, loving man. He did no wrong, But our pride, our sins, caused him to be put on the cross. To die the death of criminals. What is his response? Does he curse those that put him to death? Does he curse God for bringing him to this place of suffering? Does he say "woe is me"?

No, he says "Father forgive them for they know not what they do!" He asks for our forgiveness. For man's forgiveness. That is the ultimate love. 

Then we go to the criminals. Here is where I think about meeting God on my terms not his. There are two criminals crucified with Christ. 

One reviles him. This one says "if you are the Messiah save yourself and us". This is what I do, what we do. If you are God prove it. Show yourself. Make some miracle happen. Prove to me that I should believe. 

The other one says. "Have you no fear of God, for you are subject to the same condemnation? And Indeed, we have been condemned justly, for the sentence we received corresponds to our crimes, but this man has done nothing criminal" Then he said "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." (Luke 23:40-42)

This second man meets God on God's terms. He acknowledges God, he acknowledges his sin, he asks for forgiveness. He doesn't do it because he wants something. He does it because he believes. 

I want things to be a certain way in my life. I have my own ideas on how I want to live. I have my own thoughts on what I want for those around me, those I love. I have a tendency to be like the first man. God show yourself. God perform this miracle, please. 

I strive to be more like the second. I have sinned against you Lord, I have not loved this world and those around me as I should. I love you Lord, lead my life, guide my life, so I can emulate your love for the world. Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom. 

Me, God and the world

God and I are good. It is me and the world that I worry about.

God knows what is in my heart. God knows everything. I have laid it all out for Him, even though I didn't need to, I did for me. I have taken my heart, with its scars and all, before Him.

As I have said before, my childhood was rough. Rough to say the least. I don't go into the gory details because there is no point. 

As I have struggled to grow up. Struggled to learn how to be a mother, wife, sister and friend. As I have been tempted, I have always kept my eyes on God. I have always struggled to make the right choices. I have created, with God and Steve, to make a good, safe, steady life. 

Believe me there were times when I struggled with the right choices. When I wondered about my life and what I wanted. Not what my husband, not my kids, but what I wanted. There are still times when I do that. Again, I keep my eyes focused on God. I lay it all out for Him. I ask Him to settle my heart and guide me in his will. These are not just words, this is truly what I do. 

I think about Eve in the garden. How good and juicy that apple looked and felt in her hands. How the words of the serpent playing in her ears. Take a bite, it will be good, you will be happier. That is what the evil one does. He is not this big powerful thing, like in the movies. He has no power except what we give him. He just talks in our ear. Do what you want. God just wants you to be happy. It will feel good. You have to worry about yourself. If they loved you, they would let you be. God is not here, just you and the apple. etc....

I have strived, by God's grace. To not bite the apple. I have made some mistakes. Big ones and small ones. I have always looked to God for guidance, mercy and forgiveness. 

That is why I say God and I are good. But, He wants more from me.

I have created this isolated perfect little world. I needed to for me, for my marriage, for my family. Not so specifically isolated, more insulated I guess. 

But I feel like, in creating this world, I left some behind. I didn't bring anyone from my childhood with me. I left others to be hurt, I left others to twist and turn in the world. I wasn't strong enough or in a good place enough to help. I carry that guilt with me. 

I married Steve, I created a beautiful wonderful blessed life. The struggles I have right now, the worries I carry are good worries, good struggles. What will happen today, tomorrow, next week, next month? I don't know. I know how bad things can be or get. I have been there, done that. I know with God and Steve, I can get through anything.

But how do give back? How do share with world? How do make things right with those I left behind? 

God has given me peace. God has given me the ability to forgive. God has given me good men in my life. God has given me a heart to love, a brain to think, hands to work, and feet to move.

It is good to be in a place where I feel strong enough, where I feel loved, where I feel safe and secure. Then I can struggle with how to give back. 

To anyone reading this; know that I love you, God Loves you. 

The front pew

I sit in the front pew...... not because I am trying to be seen

I sit in the front pew...... because nobody sits there

I sit in the front pew...... because I want to be a part of mass

I sit in the front pew...... because I get distracted easily and want to focus

I sit in the pew..... because the least I can give God is one hour

I sit in the pew..... because I need God's glory in my life

I sit in the pew..... as a sinner in need of God's love

I sit in the pew..... to feel God's mercy

I kneel in the pew..... out of reverence for God

I kneel in the pew..... to pray 

I kneel in the pew..... to worship

I kneel in the pew..... because I love God

I receive..... because Jesus said "Do this in remembrance of me" Lk 22:19

I receive..... because Jesus said "My flesh is true food, My blood is true drink" Jn 6:48-58

I receive.... because Jesus has the words of eternal life Jn 6:67-69

I receive.... because I want an intimate relationship with God

I came thru the desert

I saw the bad

I lived in the bad

I love the good

I cultivate the good

I live in the good

Triumph

"If you don't transform your pain, you will transfer it"

Heard this on the radio, not sure where the quote came from but it rings true.

Many of us, probably all of us, have pain. Some have dealt with severe trauma. How can we heal? How can we not let this ruin our lives? How do we take the power back and live a joyful life?

For each of us the path is different. For each of us finding a way to heal is different. There is no right or wrong. There is no perfect plan, that if you do x y and z then your will be good. 

I believe, I know, that Christ is the perfect healer. He is the x y and z. If you turn to Him, if you trust in Him, if you allow His grace to show you how to transform your pain. 

The path He leads you to will be different from the path He has taken me. And your path will be different from others. But it is a path to healing, love and joy.

If we allow our pain to fester, if we wallow and live in that pain, it will eat us up. It will burn so hot that we have to transfer it. Instead of giving love and joy, we will be giving more pain, grief and sadness. Anger, hatred, and revenge are not paths to healing, they are paths of transfer. To take your pain and share it, to make others hurt as you are hurting. Time and again these are shown to only ignite your pain, to make your pain stronger as if you are feeding it. 

This is not to say we should allow ourselves to be hurt, that we should not seek justice. 

If someone does evil than they should have consequences. But for what point. For revenge, for getting even, for hatred, to satisfy our own anger. Or to hopefully protect others, to make the person who committed the evil to recognize what they have done, to hopefully give them a chance to repent. Maybe our current society, our current trend, doesn't support this idea. Society seems to say, "if you have done something against another, your are evil, you should be locked away and they key thrown away".  "You are not worthy or capable of change"

Pretty soon, and we are getting to that point, we will just be a country full of prisons and prisoners. A country that is more focused on revenge and anger, then repentance, healing and creating a better society.

I have made some mistakes in my life. How bad? It's all relative. I am grateful that my God offers mercy and forgiveness. A chance for me to make it right and find the right path again.

Christ was innocent, he committed no crime. He was persecuted and executed. He took that pain and transformed into our salvation. "I will never know how much it cost, to take my sins upon that cross" He took my sins with him unto the cross. He offered me forgiveness and salvation upon that cross. 

This past Sunday we celebrated the Triumph of the cross. It is a triumph. 

Christ, the ultimate transformer, made his death our triumph. 

Theology by Steve Silva

Some of my family and friends struggle with organized religion. This is partly to do with the fact that they say there are “all these rules to follow”. In my view there are no “rules”. What we hear in church is simply an accounting of how others in the past, through the Grace of God, have come to understand what it means to live in service of God. After all, that seems to be the point, living in the service of God.

There is one God who is the Creator of all. He is more like a mind than anything else we can really understand. But He is more than just the Creator. He created us and loves us and wants us to freely love Him in return

If my premise is correct, that there is only one God who is creator and lover of humanity, then how ought we respond to that reality?

I am often concerned when I hear things like “the universe thinks...” or “the universe has to stay in balance” or “karma”. I am concerned when I hear of people using tarot cards or believing in good luck and bad luck. I am concerned when people believe in superstitions like astrology, Friday the 13th, walking under a ladder and so on. In short, I am concerned when people attribute power to things other than God. For if my premise is correct then there is no power other than God.

In the concrete that does not mean one cannot get value from “spiritual writings” and “nice sayings”. It does mean that those things are subordinate the service of God. If something just serves us then it is probably misguided. If the power of God is dismissed then it is probably misguided. However, if it guides us to God and the service of God then it is probably on the right track.

It does not mean that Angels don’t exist. It does not mean that Mary did not appear to Juan Diego in Mexico City centuries ago. But it does mean that Mary did not present herself and Angels did not bring themselves. Rather Mary and the Angel Gabriel and others throughout the Judeo-Christian tradition appeared to us through the power of God. There is no power except God.

I say all this because I am very concerned about the slipping from faith in God to “nice sayings” and superstitions. I have a monotheistic theology and am concerned that such things serve largely to belittle and lower the value of God in our lives. It seems that some of these phrases suggest that god is cool and karma is cool and so on, lowering the one true God to a level where He can be forgotten about or rationalized away when He conflicts with what we want to do right now.

Any true spirituality must start with the reality that your spirit was given to you by God and he wants that spirit to lead you into a full, loving relationship with Him.

The Decisions I Make

For those who are people pleasers......

For those who struggle with decisions.....

For those who are in relationships......

The decisions I make affect those with whom I share my life. That is a fact that never escapes my mind. I am a people person, I have stated that before. It is a challenge for me when making a decision to filter out my desire to make everyone happy. Especially when I feel I am being pulled in opposite directions. 

I know I need to make the best decision for me. But I am a part of a sum. Does that make sense?

I am a people person and my relationships are my priority. My family is who I am. The fact that I weigh what is best for my relationship with Steve, weigh what is best for my household, weigh what is best for my kids, is a valid point. I am not a selfish person. I also know that if I am happy and fulfilled then I am more apt to serve God. I know that if I am happy and fulfilled then I am a better wife. I know that if I am happy and fulfilled I am a better mother. I am a better friend, sister, aunt etc........

I try to take into account all of this when making a decision. That is a lot and I sometimes feel overwhelmed. It is a matter of laying out my priorities, of filtering out the noise in my own head and making a decision.

I do this with prayer, with exercise, and sometimes just going with my gut. Its funny though because after I make the decision, I don't feel a sense of relief. I don't get that sense of relief until I have spoken to those involved in person and know that they are ok. That is stressful in itself. I need to be more confident in my decision and let others deal with it. I don't mean that in the snotty way of saying "deal with it". But in the literal sense of dealing with it. 

We say a lot in this culture "I don't owe anyone anything!"  I don't personally believe that. I owe God my life, I owe Steve my commitment and more, I owe my kids my time and love, I owe my family and friends, time and friendship, I owe my enemies forgiveness and the list goes on and on.  

We are all interconnected. Whether we like it or not. We are social creatures, designed by God, to work, to live, to procreate, to create communities. The decisions others make affects you, the decision you make affect others. We are our brothers keepers. 

Haircut

So I got my haircut the other day..... It was the first time my hair has ever been cut by a dude. I don't mean a man, a person of the male sex, I mean a dude. Scruffy facial hair and grunts instead of words and all. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being touched by a man at all. My hair washing experience was a head massage. I don't know if he meant it to be one but it was nice. I love having my hair washed by someone else. 

After the wash, we sit in the chair and I show him a picture of the haircut I would like. He makes this weird face. My mind immediately assumes that he thinks it is the a horrible haircut for me. That I will look terrible. He asks to borrow my phone while he goes talk to his instructor. (Yeah, I go to Aveda Institute for my haircuts) 

When he returns, the instructor is with him. She begins to discuss the cut with him. At that moment I realize, it wasn't that I choose a bad haircut, I chose a cut he didn't know how to do. 

Ok, now what! I don't freak out. I sit patiently and he starts to cut. The instructor is off in the distance watching while doing other stuff. At one point she comes over and cuts the layers into half of my head, teaching him as she goes along. He is instructed to cut the other half.

While he is cutting my hair, he all of a sudden stops. He says "I'll be right back" and walks away. I figured right away that he had cut himself with the scissors. The instructor comes and takes the scissors and comb away. I am sitting there waiting and waiting. Finally he comes back and yep there is a little bandage on one finger. OOPS!!!

He has to spray my hair wet again. So he grabs the spray bottle and spritzes my hair. He tosses the bottle onto the counter and it lands sideways, he doesn't even notice. I told you, dude!

Finally he is done. Only an hour later. Not bad for a pretty simple cut. The instructor comes over and checks. She cleans it up a little. But all in all he did a good job. 

Now he has to diffuse my hair with a hair dryer. He mentions to his instructor that his earlier customer needed to diffusing and her hair come out very frizzy. Uh Oh!

She explains how to diffuse correctly. He begins to blow dry my hair and is touching it. Yeah, touching it. Anyone and everyone knows that you don't touch hair because you make it frizzy. Again a dude!!

The instructor comes over again and explains that you should touch the hair as little as possible. Especially curly hair! Otherwise it will frizz. 

Finally we are done. Again he did a pretty good job. It was simple haircut. Sort of short Meg Ryan look. Head massaged and hair cut by a dude. It was a good day.  

What I have.....

What I have isn't perfect, but it is pretty close

What I have is worth more than gold

What I have money can't buy

What I have I know is good

What I have is attainable

What I have is a choice

What I have takes work

What I have is boring; to some

What I have is weird; to others

What I have is complicated

What I have is simple

What I have is ..........

A relationship with Christ

A strong marriage

A partner with whom we have sacrificed for our kids

A safe secure home

A grand-baby on the way

A life with four beautiful kids

A wonderful daughter in law

A strong man standing beside me

A strong female psyche

A desire to continue to make things better

A love for those around me

We married very, very young

We chose to live a straight "boring" life

We chose to live in a town that is all about education

We chose to focus on our kids, our marriage, and Christ

I strive not to take for granted what I have. I know what it is like to not have these things. I remember. I look around and know this is good, this is close to paradise. 

Behind Closed Doors

For my sisters.....

For my mother.....

For my brothers....

For my friends and neighbors

and all those who live behind closed doors......

Someone said to me recently "we don't know what goes on behind closed doors". I certainly have heard this many times in my life. It is not a new thought but something that we certainly can forget.

Not just behind closed doors but behind the fronts we put on for the public. Behind the Facebook posts and sweet hellos. Do we truly know the struggles of others? Do others know the struggles I face?

Some people are very guarded and don't open up easily. Some of us don't feel like sharing our drama with the world. So it is hard for those around us to know what's going on in our heads or our homes. 

We judge based on what we see. How a person looks. How they present themselves to the world. Because this is all we know, this is all we see. Sometimes we need to recognize that what we see may not be the whole picture. We need to recognize the person behind the smile. 

Look at them as a valued human person

The person they present to the world is part of them but only part. Who are those we interact with daily? Who am I in this world? What am I presenting to the world? 

If we are truly present for those around us. If we open our hearts to God and let his love take over. Then we will be able to open our hearts to those around and love and listen and love and help and love. We are called to Love!

What does this word "Love" mean? What is it to be truly present? These are challenging questions. I love my husband, I love my children. But let's not mix up love with lust or desire. Let's not mix love with complete agreement on all things. Love in one sense is wanting something better for the other person. Love is treating others with dignity. Love is being able to disagree without allowing pride or hate or the absolute desire to be right to take over. Love is self sacrifice and self giving. Christ loved, absolutely and purely, perfectly, unto death and beyond. 

To those reading this and are feeling alone. To those reading this that feel like they have no one to talk to, no one who will listen completely and not judge. To those who feel overwhelmed and over burdened. Know that there are those around you who love you. Those around you who want to listen and give support and love. Sometimes you have to take that first step to be heard. You have to let someone in. But also know that God knows whats in your heart. Lay it all out for Him. He can take it. Yell, scream, pray. Write it down and throw it way. Write it down then burn it. Pray, Pray, Pray!! 

There is unconditional love there! There is Hope!

Step out on faith

For those who have taken of leap of faith.....
For those who want to step out on faith.....
For those who wonder....

Our self-esteem, or at least mine, is tenuous at best. Sometimes I feel like I can conquer the world and I have it all together. Other times I feel I can't do anything right

As I am committing to and refocusing on writing this blog, I wonder how my self-esteem will handle it. I want it to be accepted and for people to take something from it. I certainly don't want it to be an epic failure. I am doing this as part of a discernment process for my life, how to live out and use the gifts from God to serve Him and make the world better.

I am trying through prayer and openness to write from the heart. I don't want it to be about me. I want it to be God driven. I was thinking about this at church this morning.

If the blog isn't one of my charisms that's ok. But again my self-esteem may not be able to handle an epic fail. I would rather not discover that I am a bad writer or fail to make a point or am just plain boring. I also don't want it to be hugely, ridiculously successful to the point that I would be tempted to make it all about me. In both cases my pride would take over and it would be about me rather than this blog. I need to rely on God, step out on faith and see what happens. I know that He will see me through this to the desired end.

I am trying to share some of the thoughts I have on different subjects and things that have happened to me that I feel some of you go through as well. But these are just my thoughts and opinions. I am certainly not the most formally educated person. I have an associate’s degree that took me 10 years to complete. Not because the material was too hard but because I was raising my kids. I have lived on the planet for 48 years, I am somewhat well read, and try to think things through based on life experiences. The only life I can experience is my own, but that is enough.

Most of the things I have said are not new thoughts or new ideas. They are old thoughts and old ideas just told from my perspective. Some of them are the beliefs I strive to live, some of them are ideas we have forgotten or misplaced so to speak.

A lot of the ideas come from music. I am a lyrical person, some song lyrics (even cheesy ones) can really spark thoughts and ideas. Don't get me wrong, a good dance number is awesome, especially when dancing or cleaning the house. But sometimes, sometimes I stumble onto song lyrics that fit what I am currently thinking about or going through. It is in these moments I know that God is singing to me. This has happened more times than I could talk about.

Other thoughts come from listening or trying to hear what someone is saying. Sometimes it is a simple line in a Facebook post, a homily during mass, during a conversation with someone, or something said on television. I truly don't know when something will light the fire and create a train of thought. That steam engine is driven by God.

I do enjoy writing these and am open to honest feedback. Please feel free to share.

Unconditional Love

For those discerning charisms and working towards a more Holy existence......

For those struggling with life and love............

For those who have ever felt unloved or unlovable........

For those whose hearts are broken...........

For those who want to feel true literal unconditional love........

God loves us unconditionally. We have all heard this but have we really reflected on it? Take a moment and let that sink in: GOD LOVES US UNCONDITIONALLY, Literally. 

No matter who you are, no matter what you have done, no matter where you live, no matter your last name, no matter your gender, no matter.........

UNCONDITIONALLY!!

We all love. We love our parents, siblings, spouses, friends, relatives and others. We fall in and out of love. We love someone, then see behind the curtain so to speak, of who they truly are, their demons, their vices, their pasts and we struggle to come to terms with it. Sometimes, we fall out of love.

Not God, not Jesus. He sat down with sinners. He spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well. He invited the simple fisherman and the tax collector to be his apostles. He converted a persecutor of Christians to be his apostle. 

His unconditional love knows no bounds. Did Paul go to prison for his persecutions? Did Christ turn Peter away for denying Him three times? Did Thomas get reprimanded for doubting? Did the Samaritan woman at the well get scoffed at or shunned? 

Mary Magdalen was known as a great sinner. She threw herself at Jesus' feet and washed his feet with her hair and anointed Him with oils. Did he rebuke her? Did her turn her away as others mumbled?

Unconditional love. We all have pasts. We have our lives right now. There are things that make us feel unlovable. We struggle with Internal Demons. How God can love me when I keep making the same mistakes over and over? When I say I am going to stop but don't? None of that matters when it comes to His unconditional love. If you turn to Him, if you open your heart and just ponder the name, "Jesus, Jesus", you will feel it. 

Unconditional love. We can't comprehend it, we can't live it without God's help. We are called to unconditional love. We should practice it. We all have things that would make us turn to anger, to shun, to persecute, to get even. Our pride takes over and we want to be right. Our pride takes over and we want our justice, not God's justice, not what's right for those around us. 

Our pride and this world tells us to fight for what is ours. If someone tries to take it then we defend ourselves. We put up our walls, our defenses. We arm ourselves. We don't look to Jesus who told Peter "put down that sword". Who went to His death with true love and obedience. Who trusted in His Father's plan. Who on His cross said "Father forgive them for they know not what they do". 

Let us look to God. Let us open our hearts to His true unconditional love for us and those around us. Let us throw ourselves at His feet. Let us place our broken hearts at the foot of His cross. Let us be in His presence and feel His all powerful love. Let it pour into our very being.

Holy Spirit

For those who question....

For those who doubt....

For those who wonder.....

For those who seek.....

Who is Jesus? Did he really exist? Is what we know the truth?

These are the hard questions. I have struggled to answer them and have never found an accurate way. Jesus has always been at work in my life. What I have discovered is; I can't answer these questions for someone else they have to answer them for themselves. 

Paul says in 1st Corinthians Ch 12 verse 3.  

'Therefore, I tell you that nobody speaking by the spirit of God says, “Jesus be accursed.” And no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the holy Spirit.'

As I reflect on this verse and recall the story of Pentecost in John ch. 20, verse 19-23, I realize the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity, is the key. It is with the guidance of the Holy Spirit that we know Jesus. The Holy Spirit guided the apostles from their sanctuary and led them to proclaim Christ to the world. This was birthday of the Christian church, this was before the Bible was canonized, this was the beginning.

If no one can say "Jesus is Lord" except by the Holy Spirit. Then we need to let the Holy Spirit guide us to Jesus. How do we do this? The easiest way is by asking for the intercession of the Holy Spirit in our lives through prayer.  We have to find a way to cherish and encourage some silence in our lives. It is difficult and challenging to hear God if we fill our lives with noise. For example, I am sitting in Church and a beautiful young family is sitting behind me. As with most young children they are noisy. That is who they are and it's really no big deal. But as I was listening to the readings, it was challenging to focus on what was being said and not on the rustling of children. This is a great analogy for our lives. If we are always focused on the noise of the life around us, then we can't hear. 

Furthermore, we need to ask the Holy Spirit to come into our lives. I understand if you don't know if you believe in the Holy Spirit, why would you ask it anything? I would contend, what have you got to lose? If there is nothing there then nothing will happen, if there is something there then you will know.

Some call this Pascal's wager, in its simplest form. 

Holy Spirit prayers range from short to long. When or how you pray is personal and varied. One of my favorite prayers "Come Holy Spirit", simple and to the point. 

A longer version; 

Come Holy Spirit, open my mind and my heart.

Enlighten me, apply your Word to my life and use it to transform me.

Make me a good listener.

Draw me closer to You my God.

Amen.

There are many others. A prayer is a personal thing and you could make up your own words. The key is to take a quiet moment and ask the Holy Spirit to come into your life. Whether that moment be a minute or 10 minutes. Start there, see what happens. If nothing, then you go on with your life and never look back. If something, then you go on with your life with a new perspective.

ps. this is a even longer version.

Come, Holy Spirit, fill my heart with your holy gifts. 

Let my weakness be penetrated with your strength this very day that I may fulfill the duties of my state in life conscientiously, that I may do what is right and just. 

Let my charity be such as to offend no one and hurt no one's feelings; so generous as to pardon sincerely any wrong done to me. 

Assist me in all the trials of life, enlighten me in my ignorance, advise me in my doubts, strengthen my weakness, help me in all needs and embarrassment, protect me in temptations and console me in all afflictions. 

Graciously hear me, O Holy Spirit, and pour your light into my heart, my soul and my mind. 

Assist me to live a holy life and to grow in goodness and grace.  Amen 

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Week 1982, Western High School Detroit. 

The Ethnic Club was having a secret admirer event. For 50 cents you get to be a secret admirer and get a secret admirer. I couldn't tell you who my secret admirer was, but I can tell who I admired secretly. I reached into the box and drew the name "Steve Silva". I didn't know who that was. My good friend Lisa knew him. She said "Oh! He is a really nice guy with beautiful green eyes."  I had lots of fun that week, sending secret gits and cards. At the end of the week was a dance. I was so shy, when Steve asked me to dance, I said no. He felt dejected but I really liked him but was to scared. 

Steve and I became great friends with a great group of people. A year later we began dating.

Jump ahead to Valentine's Day 1997. Our youngest son, Alex, is born. My greatest Valentine's gift ever. 

So now as Valentine's Day is here again, we are looking at more changes in life. Our youngest is 17!!! We are taking him to visit colleges and thinking about him leaving the nest. Our oldest, after moving out 10years ago for college, is moving back to Michigan. While he is not moving back home, he and his new wife will be close enough to see regularly. Maybe, maybe grandchildren!!!!  Eventhough I am to young to be a grandma, I would love having a baby around. 

Steve and I have had our struggles, challenges, trials and tribulations. We recently had the opportunity to attend a World Marriage Day dinner/dance. We had an awesome time and truly love being together. I feel so blessed to have such a great man and 4 beautiful children in my life. 

Happy Early Valentine's Day. You don't need to buy expensive gifts or gushy cards or even be in a serious relationship to show some love that day. Just spread love to those around you, appreciate those in your life and find your joy!!!

Happy New Year!!

I am sitting here in my family room watching the snow fall. It is quiet, It is 2014. To some it is just another day. To others it is fresh start a new beginning. Time to look back and forward, to make changes. Statistically New Years resolutions don't stick. But that's ok. We should never stop trying to be better, to make our lives better, to make ourselves better. 

I don't believe in the saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks". You can always, no matter your age, change and improve. Introspection, examination of conciensce, a look at where your life is now and where you want it to be is always a good thing. We have to be open and honest with ourselves and with those around us. We have to hear what others are saying and say what we need to say. 

My resolution is simple. More Jesus and less Pam. I want to pray more, read the gospels and just be in His presence more. That is where true unconditional love is. That is where peace and joy are. 

What are your resolutions? Are you prepared for making a change? Change is hard, habits are easy. You will fall. We all do. The key is to get back up and start again. That is where the hard part comes in. It hurts to fall both mentally and sometimes physically. To get back up and start again when there is a possibility of falling again...that is where we decide to make this change or give up. That is where the "rubber hits the road" so to speak. 

To make a change, a serious change. We need to set S.M.A.R.T. goals. 

Specific - I will exercise 3x a week. Instead I will exercise more. 

Measurable - 3x a week.

Attainable - I will lose 1lb a week. Something you can reach for and be successful at. 

Realistic - I will lose 1lb a week, instead of I will lose 50lbs in 8wks. 

Time-based - Something not open ended. In one week I will have lost 1lb. Then another week. 

We also have to give ourselves room to fail. Ok I didn't lose 1lb this week, I fell off the wagon. Let me get back on a start again. Relish the small victories. I lost 3lbs overall and I gained 1lb. That is a net gain of 2lbs. Or I did my walks everyday and I feel really good. Who cares if the scale didn't move this time. Let me look at the other factors(diet, hormones etc..) and see what I can adjust. 

So my SMART goal;

Specific - I will read one Chapter of John every week. Then Mark, Matthew, Luke and Acts. 

Measurable - 1 Ch every week, My weeks will run Sun. to Sat.

Attainable - I should be able to eek out sometime to read one chapter during the week. 

Realistic - I have a bible, I have time(like instead of facebooking I can read first)

Time-based- So every Sunday I will asses whether I read my chapter the following week and reasses or start over. 

As we begin 2014, I pray that each of you find peace, love and joy. I pray that this year brings health to those struggling, brings peace to those conflicted, brings joy to those saddened, and love to the world around us. God Bless you and your families.