The Decisions I Make

For those who are people pleasers......

For those who struggle with decisions.....

For those who are in relationships......

The decisions I make affect those with whom I share my life. That is a fact that never escapes my mind. I am a people person, I have stated that before. It is a challenge for me when making a decision to filter out my desire to make everyone happy. Especially when I feel I am being pulled in opposite directions. 

I know I need to make the best decision for me. But I am a part of a sum. Does that make sense?

I am a people person and my relationships are my priority. My family is who I am. The fact that I weigh what is best for my relationship with Steve, weigh what is best for my household, weigh what is best for my kids, is a valid point. I am not a selfish person. I also know that if I am happy and fulfilled then I am more apt to serve God. I know that if I am happy and fulfilled then I am a better wife. I know that if I am happy and fulfilled I am a better mother. I am a better friend, sister, aunt etc........

I try to take into account all of this when making a decision. That is a lot and I sometimes feel overwhelmed. It is a matter of laying out my priorities, of filtering out the noise in my own head and making a decision.

I do this with prayer, with exercise, and sometimes just going with my gut. Its funny though because after I make the decision, I don't feel a sense of relief. I don't get that sense of relief until I have spoken to those involved in person and know that they are ok. That is stressful in itself. I need to be more confident in my decision and let others deal with it. I don't mean that in the snotty way of saying "deal with it". But in the literal sense of dealing with it. 

We say a lot in this culture "I don't owe anyone anything!"  I don't personally believe that. I owe God my life, I owe Steve my commitment and more, I owe my kids my time and love, I owe my family and friends, time and friendship, I owe my enemies forgiveness and the list goes on and on.  

We are all interconnected. Whether we like it or not. We are social creatures, designed by God, to work, to live, to procreate, to create communities. The decisions others make affects you, the decision you make affect others. We are our brothers keepers.