Step out on faith

For those who have taken of leap of faith.....
For those who want to step out on faith.....
For those who wonder....

Our self-esteem, or at least mine, is tenuous at best. Sometimes I feel like I can conquer the world and I have it all together. Other times I feel I can't do anything right

As I am committing to and refocusing on writing this blog, I wonder how my self-esteem will handle it. I want it to be accepted and for people to take something from it. I certainly don't want it to be an epic failure. I am doing this as part of a discernment process for my life, how to live out and use the gifts from God to serve Him and make the world better.

I am trying through prayer and openness to write from the heart. I don't want it to be about me. I want it to be God driven. I was thinking about this at church this morning.

If the blog isn't one of my charisms that's ok. But again my self-esteem may not be able to handle an epic fail. I would rather not discover that I am a bad writer or fail to make a point or am just plain boring. I also don't want it to be hugely, ridiculously successful to the point that I would be tempted to make it all about me. In both cases my pride would take over and it would be about me rather than this blog. I need to rely on God, step out on faith and see what happens. I know that He will see me through this to the desired end.

I am trying to share some of the thoughts I have on different subjects and things that have happened to me that I feel some of you go through as well. But these are just my thoughts and opinions. I am certainly not the most formally educated person. I have an associate’s degree that took me 10 years to complete. Not because the material was too hard but because I was raising my kids. I have lived on the planet for 48 years, I am somewhat well read, and try to think things through based on life experiences. The only life I can experience is my own, but that is enough.

Most of the things I have said are not new thoughts or new ideas. They are old thoughts and old ideas just told from my perspective. Some of them are the beliefs I strive to live, some of them are ideas we have forgotten or misplaced so to speak.

A lot of the ideas come from music. I am a lyrical person, some song lyrics (even cheesy ones) can really spark thoughts and ideas. Don't get me wrong, a good dance number is awesome, especially when dancing or cleaning the house. But sometimes, sometimes I stumble onto song lyrics that fit what I am currently thinking about or going through. It is in these moments I know that God is singing to me. This has happened more times than I could talk about.

Other thoughts come from listening or trying to hear what someone is saying. Sometimes it is a simple line in a Facebook post, a homily during mass, during a conversation with someone, or something said on television. I truly don't know when something will light the fire and create a train of thought. That steam engine is driven by God.

I do enjoy writing these and am open to honest feedback. Please feel free to share.