I actually am ok with who I am these days. Am I perfect? Absolutely not! I am so far from where God wants me to be.... Thank God his mercy is immeasurable and His love unconditional. I will continue to work to be a better version of me, the me, He envisions.

What I mean is my life is pretty good and so am I. There are struggles and challenges in this life. I have it worse than some and better than a lot of others. Depends on what you are measuring. I don't have much if any expendable cash, I don't have money for big fancy trips, my bathroom towels don't all match or have a "theme". Right now we are trying to get our finances together and have some big challenges there. Steve and I struggle to agree on things, we each have our own visions on what our life should look like. I have worries about my kids, as any mom would. 

Steve and I try to communicate and make things better daily. We are committed to our marriage and making it work. Our kids are good kids, they have jobs and lives and are figuring things out. 

I guess after living through some really tough stuff, most of it as child, you look at life a little differently. It's like living through a hurricane and being ok with rain storms sometimes. 

Regrets, anger, and dwelling on the past can derail your happiness in the future. Looking at your life choices and trying to improve is always a good thing. But dwelling on what happened and why, holding on to anger and resentment, saying "I should have" over and over can stop progress. 

I am a weirdly empathetic and optimistic person. I make no apologies for that. I try to put myself in others shoes. I believe most people are good and want things better. We just get all caught up in our own selfishness and pride. God has given us the grace of forgiveness and love. We need to use it more. There are amazing stories of forgiveness out there. People put through the worst atrocities imaginable and come through and still find forgiveness. Christ was hanging on the cross, bloody and beaten. He asked God to forgive those that had done this. Wow!!! 

Forgiveness is a grace from God, it is so powerful. Even forgiving ourselves can be tremendous. Forgiving others is probably the greatest challenge most of will face. Thank God he is there for us.

I have had more than one person get mad at me for my philosophies. People want me to be mad and take serious my past bad choices. Believe me I do. I just choose not beat myself up about it. I work on forgiveness and understanding. 

I guess it all boils down to LOVE. Do we love our neighbors, our antagonist, our enemies? Can we disagree and still love? Do we even try or do we let our pride, our desire to be right no matter what, steer us.